THIS IS REALLY LONG sorry
My last trip, before this one, was around 1/29/19 I believe. It was only 950mg, which was crazy in itself but it was during the night with the lights off so all I hallucinated was text on my laptop screen and I texted a few people crazy stuff but that's about it.
Around 3:30pm I took 40 pills, which was hell because I normally use my 50mg capsules but I used 25mg this time, and got into the shower. Only a few minutes later did I feel it kick in, slowly. The familiar tiredness/zoned out feeling was slowly creeping up on me. I cried in the shower because I convinced myself I was going to die.
After the shower I crawled into bed and waited for it to fully hit me. At this time I had my phone hidden inside of a book with the insides cut out, getting my phone out had become difficult but I was still able. I texted my friend that taking 40 pills was sickly.
I felt it hit me while I was sitting up. The comeup was much faster now. If I stared for too long everything would melt together and turn white. After a few minutes my chest and stomach got ice cold and my face/neck was on fire. My heart was beating so fast at this point and I was terrified. I tried to get my phone out again and it was so hard to do this time, I was struggling so bad. I tried to look up "symptoms of heart attack" because I was convinced I was going to die. At first reading was a little hard but my ability went away completely and everything was just so blurry.
I was so scared that I went from the bathroom to my room several times to try and puke the pills up but no matter how hard I put my fingers in my throat, nothing would come up.
I just decided to try to ride it out so I came back into my room and just laid on my bed to stare into empty space. At this time I was hearing the low bass thumps and faint buzzes on either side of my head. I tried to get my phone out once more but I just couldn't do it- my body stopped working with me.
I sat upright because laying down felt so wrong somehow. I'd zone out and be in full conversations with people and when I zoned in I was sitting there thinking wtf was I going to tell them about? One specific convo I remember is this boy telling me about a game console and how good it was I kept talking to him then when I zoned back in it was so confusing.
I tried to puke once again but failed and gave up for good.
I laid back in bed and tried to sleep it off. I woke up to my dad coming into my room and asking where my bottle of pills were and I don't know if I told him or got them but they ended up missing.
The first odd thing that happened was my dad coming into my room and staring at me from the doorway. He told me I was leaving and to pack my stuff and threw 2 trashbags into my room. All I did was roll over and think "so this is the choice he made?" and I closed my eyes for a bit.
When I opened them I sat up and looked around my floor, there were several trashbags and a suitcase lying on the floor. All I did was roll back over.
After this I watched him walk into my room over and over again. I asked what he was doing but I got no answer besides leering looks. He would also open the laundry room door and just lean into it for minutes at a time. He closed the door and I asked what he was doing but he only stood at the door and stared at me. It was so weird.. his eyes were dark with no soul.
I sat up to look at the bags on my floor but they'd vanished. I didn't even question it. I looked at my dog for a few seconds and pet her but I didn't feel her. I jabbed at the shape of my dog but felt my covers instead and my dog rippled and fell out of view. I sat there thinking wtf? but just laid back down again.
When I rolled back over I saw my phone in bed with me and tried to grab at it but I didn't pick anything up. I tried grabbing more aggressively and all I felt was my blanket so I gave up on it.
I heard my dad call my name several times but I knew it was fake so I didn't answer it.
After a few minutes I looked up and there were 3 locks on the outside of my door- a deadbolt and 2 regular locks. I said out loud "are you going to lock me in my room?" which got no answer. I laid back down to sleep.
I opened my eyes and watched my dad walk out of my closet holding a bottle of robocough. I asked what he was doing but all he did was look at me and laugh.
I watched him lean into the laundry room again. he closed the door and stared at me for a few seconds but i just rolled back over
After a little bit he came into my room and sat on my bed, handed me a box cutter , and said something to me. i didn't hear what he said to me so I asked what it was and he just mouthed more words at me. i asked one more time and he did it once more. he got up and left. I thought someone was in the house and he gave me a weapon to defend myself.
I looked at the wall and there was a rifle mounted to it, then i got up and went to my bathroom and there was another gun sitting against the wall.
I laid back in bed but I got up shortly to go ask him what he tried to tell me. I stumbled down the hall into the living room and leaned on the couch. I asked "what did you try to tell me earlier?" He asks me wtf im talking about, so i ask him what he tried to say to me 10 minutes ago. He tells me he was cooking for the last hour and asks me what the fuck was wrong with me. I act puzzled and ask what i was doing. He told me that i didn't blink and i was acting really really strange. This was the first REAL encounter with my dad that I had.
This was the point I realized I was seeing duplicates of him around my house. I laid back in my bed and just stared at the wall beside me. I saw something black crawl into my vision and i looked up at it. It was a face sitting in the corner of my room and it put a fear so deep in me that i didn't move. i slowly came to realize it was just my poster but kept staring at it
Everything was very fuzzy looking and my walls breathed. every once in a while my door would twitch or my walls would jerk around then move back into place.
at some point i got called to dinner. i tried to walk as normally as i could. eating was horrible, it tasted like nothing and my mouth was so dry that my food just stuck to the insides of my mouth. my dad stood with me and talked to me but I had no clue what he was saying. I zoned out of what he was saying and saw a black key sitting on the counter in front of me. I grabbed it.. so EAGERLY and i realized it wasn't real and started poking at the counter.
I got asked "what the fucks wrong with you" several times and every time i asked what i was doing id get told i was acting really strange and weird.
While I was trying to eat I grabbed my water to wash everything down but my arms were shaking horribly, it looked like i was seizing or something so i put the water down and just thought wtf??
i looked up at my dad once and he was crying, but i don't think this ever happened
after i told him i couldn't eat i went to the bathroom and stared at my legs. they had a bright peach fuzzy aura around them and i was glowing. i thought wtf? and just went with it
I crawled back into bed and watched the hallway. I watched my dad lean into the laundry room again but this time he didn't close it, he just disappeared. I looked again and there was a hand reaching out of the door of the room, it was grabbing at the air and moving slowly. Another hand appeared but this one was coming out from behind my door and it was a child's arm, wiggling its fingers- I wanted to get up and grab it but i told myself no.
I came into the kitchen/living-room area and told my dad goodnight. I looked at the couch and yelled aw shes so cute! and described to my dad how the dog was sitting. I walked over to grab her and didn't feel anything but air. Im pretty sure my dad was just watching me like what the hell is wrong with my kid. I looked over and saw her sitting on the other cough and walked over to pet her there instead.
I went back to my room and watched the lights under my door flicker like someone was pacing in the hallway. I watched them for a good while and then went to my dad to ask him if he was in the hall.. obviously not
I remember getting up several times to try to go to the bathroom or whatever and i slammed into the wall every time. Searching for my light-switch was so hard. I couldn't find anything and just kept hitting the wall every time I got up.
After i laid in bed again I saw a ferret and a mouse playing under my door so I got the bright idea to tell my dad. I got up and yelled "OH nevermind, it was just a ferret and a mouse playing under my door!"
I got my phone out- extremely difficult and texted my boyfriend. He asked me to call him so I laid in bed and talked to him for a few minutes. Then he texted and said "ok im back ill call you now" and I zoned in and realized I was talking to myself and not him.
I called him for real and told him about the locks on my door and how it was scary.. even though they werent real.
I was holding a pillow under my arm and when I looked down at it I saw hundreds of tiny bugs all over it and crawling over everything. They jumped onto me and I started screaming that there were bugs all over the pillow and me. He was freaked out by what I was telling him and told me to wash it tomorrow so I threw it across my room.
After a little bit I go to plug my phone up and for some reason i thought it would be easier to stand in the very corner of my room to plug it up but i fell against the wall and into the floor
at around 1am after my boyfriend slept i went into the kitchen to get myself some water. Near the top of my living-room wall there's a big window and something caught my eye in it. A huge face was staring down on me and I looked at it, asked it "what?" and it turned around and formed into 2 squirrels playing. I was so freaked out by the face, I stood there for a few minutes just staring waiting for it to come back but it never showed.