T+0:00 - Dispensed one 8g nitrous oxide charger into a balloon using a standard cracker. I was sitting securely on a couch, an important safety measure as nitrous can cause sudden loss of coordination. I had eaten normally and had no alcohol in my system.
T+0:00:05 - Inhaled the balloon slowly over about 15 seconds, taking a breath of air between puffs to maintain oxygen levels. Almost immediately, a warm tingling sensation spread from my chest to my extremities.
T+0:00:20 - The characteristic wah-wah-wah auditory effect began. Sounds from the room seemed to flange and pulse rhythmically. My visual field softened, and a wave of euphoria and giddiness washed over me. I started laughing involuntarily, which is why it is called laughing gas.
T+0:00:40 - Peak of the experience from one balloon. A brief but vivid sense of having grasped some fundamental truth about reality, the so-called cosmic giggle. It felt like the punchline to a joke the universe was telling, and the joke was that everything is both infinitely important and completely absurd. Physical sensation of floating and vibrating.
T+0:01:30 - Already coming down. The euphoria faded, the auditory distortion smoothed out, and within two minutes I felt completely normal. The profound insight I thought I had grasped dissolved like a dream upon waking, leaving only the memory of having had it.
T+0:05:00 - Did a second balloon. Similar experience but slightly less novel. After two, I stopped. More is rarely better with nitrous, and there is little point in chasing a 60-second experience in an endless loop.
The critical harm reduction message about nitrous oxide: occasional use (a few balloons at a gathering, once a month or less) is relatively low-risk for most people. The real danger comes from chronic, heavy use (hundreds of chargers per week), which destroys vitamin B12 through irreversible oxidation. This can cause subacute combined degeneration of the spinal cord, a condition presenting as numbness and tingling in extremities progressing to difficulty walking and potentially permanent nerve damage. If you use nitrous and develop tingling or numbness in your hands or feet, STOP IMMEDIATELY and see a doctor. B12 supplementation is not sufficient protection against heavy use. Also: always discharge into a balloon, never directly from the charger or tank. Always sit down. Never use with a bag over your head. Never combine with other depressants.