Three years clean and I'm sharing this because it might help someone who's at the beginning of a path I nearly didn't survive.
The beginning: Prescribed for chronic back pain. It worked. Too well. For the first time in years, I felt normal. No pain, warm, optimistic.
The progression: Tolerance built within weeks. I needed more to feel the same relief. When my doctor wouldn't increase the prescription, I found other sources. I told myself it was still for pain management.
The descent: Within six months, I was physically dependent. Without it, I experienced withdrawal — the worst flu you can imagine, plus anxiety that felt like impending death. I organized my entire life around making sure I had enough.
The turning point: I woke up one morning and couldn't remember the previous day. My family was pulling away. I'd lost significant weight. I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself.
Recovery: Medical detox facility, followed by intensive outpatient treatment. The physical withdrawal lasted about a week. The psychological recovery is ongoing.
What I want you to know: I was a successful professional with no history of substance abuse. I thought "that won't happen to me." This class of substances doesn't care about your resume. If you're prescribed one, track your use carefully. If you notice dose escalation or using for mood rather than pain — talk to your doctor immediately.
I'm sharing my story because someone shared theirs with me, and it saved my life.