I usually use empathogens socially but wanted to explore using this one for solo introspection, similar to how some use psychedelics.
T+0:00 - Took a slightly lower than normal dose. Set intention to explore my relationship with self-compassion, which I struggle with.
T+0:45 - Coming up. The usual warmth and openness, but directed inward rather than toward others.
T+1:00 - Started journaling. The inner critic that usually dominates my self-reflection was quiet. Instead, I could see myself with the same compassion I'd give a close friend. Wrote about childhood experiences with clarity and acceptance.
T+2:00 - Listened to music that's meaningful to me. Each song brought up memories and emotions that I could process without the usual resistance or judgment.
T+3:00 - Had a long internal dialogue about self-worth. Realized how much energy I spend trying to earn approval from others and how little I give to approving of myself.
T+5:00 - Effects fading. Reread my journal entries and they were surprisingly coherent and insightful.
Integration: The self-compassion insights were powerful but also fragile. I've had to consciously practice them to keep them alive. Started a daily self-compassion meditation based on what I discovered.
Solo use was different — less euphoric, more therapeutic. I'd recommend it for anyone who uses these substances recreationally to try it alone at least once.