"Shit. I gotta pee.... Fuck. No place is letting me use their shithole. God Damnit. "
Well........to get to why that happened...
Pre Set:Started off with a 2 day fast then fucking it up by eating some damn chicken wings.
Set: After work, after chicken wings. There was no other day this week to trip except for tonight.
Setting: 500ug 1p, Alice in wonder land, Charlie and the chocolate factory, self, and a fucking sunrise.
I dont know what happened exactly.. during the comeup and the peak, I was trying to solve a question.. But it wasn't clearly answered. And the more I dug for the truth the more it wanted to hide itself from me for some reason.
Started to go out for a walk. Probably walked around the block 3 times gazing at all the flowers and trees.
When I got back I started to write down my thoughts.
I need to know my heritage. (all this time i've been disconnected from my culture Perhaps my feeling of alienation from normal society may be the lack of knowledge in my heritage.)
We stand on the backs of countless generations.
Family is all i've got. And i'm REALLY FUCKING SAD for anybody that hasn't got their family matters in order.
After I was done crying and writing this shit down I went to bed and watched Alice in wonderland.
Alice and the fucking hatter got me pumped up for life so I decided...its 2 hours till sunup, might as well go find a nice place at the beach to see it.
When I got to the beach the fogs were so dense I couldnt see anything half a mile ahead. Which got me all excited to take pictures. Ended up taking some bomb ass photos with the fog btw.
I pass by this strung out dude at one point and take some more photos but decide to go back to where I came from because I wanted to sit down and just kick it. Plopped myself onto a ledge and watched as the lights on the ferris wheel sucked me in. The jungle gyms were swaying and jelloing so I just sat there for a good 10 minutes with a Grin plastered over my face Enjoying the visuals.
Then I notice this same strung out guy tailing me and I start booking it because I needed to pee anyways. Took a look at the stalls and for whatever the hell i was thinking I thought "a man is at his most vulnerable when he is peeing" so I went further out near my car. Spotted another less crowded public stall and started walking towards it then I twirled around just to make sure this dude hasn't been trailing me....suure enough he was. Stopped. Stared him in the eye and started walking towards him. He did a little quick twirl and tip toed back. He kept looking back to see if I would keep going lol. (REALLLY HOPING I didnt scare a rando dude)
So after this I still had to pee. That dude trailing me really threw me on this paranoia shit and I went out on a hunt to find a place to pee because I had to know if there was a safe place for anybody to do their business safely. I didnt want to use the public stalls because again "a man is at his most vulnerable when he is peeing" + I had a bunch of camera gear I didnt want to get jacked so I went to a coffee bean....which they had so conveniently closed their bathrooms down for "Maintenance". I got a tea and a scone and left with a mission of finding a SAFE public place to pee!
by the time I gave up finding a damn shit hole to pee in, I thought... God damnit.
I got hit with this really shitty feeling earlier on while the dude was tailing me.
The best way I could describe it would be that there is a curtain somewhere hiding in between society. It felt like I was at the literal cutting edge of society, a bittersweet place where the chaos of thievery would meet the order of thievery. In other words business is business. And the tables for the people in the middle are against them.
Fuck I still need to pee.
Started to head to work because it was already 6am and had to pee like mad. so I zoomed over to work while I was seeing some nice fractals on the freeway. At the end of the drive I got my sunrise with a grin plastered on my face.
Feeling Lucky that I slipped away from the unknown and sad that safe is not something that exists in this world.