She's the only person I can think of that could fill the role. I'll call her Emily even though that isn't her real name. We met in second grade and became best friends shortly, being extremely close until grade 5 when I moved schools.
We met again in high school and were friends for another 3 years. Problem was I fell in love with her, and it was one-sided. She did some shitty things to me and we fought, and we stopped talking for a long time. We started talking again two years ago.
We've talked about it and she's apologized for most things, and I don't hold much anger for her since she's had her fair share of troubles in life (her dad died when she was young, etc. Don't want to reveal all her secrets but she's had it rough). We've established nothing will ever happen between us even though I still have feelings for her.
I know it mostly sounds negative up until this point, but she's the only person I can think of to be my trip sitter. I feel comfortable around her in a way I don't with anyone but family. I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a kid and was bullied mercilessly, she was my only friend. And even though she did do some pretty shitty things to me, I don't think she ever had malice in her heart. It's complicated. But basically, I've never felt awkward socially the way I do around literally everyone else around her. I honestly feel like I can just be myself and not have to "put on" or fake it.
So what do you think? Would Emily asmy trip sitter be a bad idea because of the complicated unresolved emotional past, or is it worth it with how comfortable I am around her?