My diagnosis is major depressive disorder, sinve I was 16 (24 now) I've been on pretty much every anti depressant. I want to try ketamine nut don't want to get high from it, I just want the receptor uptake properties from it.
Current medication: Sertaline 100mg Atimoxetine 80mg Risperidone 1mg
I've hit a massive episode of depression, honestly I just want to end it all.. the only thing that stopping me is thinking of my children, but im scared one day that won't even stop me (already starting to believe they'll be better off as I don't interact with them much and I'm stuck in my bedroom all day feeling empty and riddled with anxiety)
Must note: I've been stupid and self medicating with amphetamine sulphate the past month in an attempt to feel better and get motivated to do things. This failed as the dosage stopped working now and has left me feeling worse. Stupid I know, but I'm ADHD and have been prescribed amphetamines in the past and it worked so well! Since being prescribed I switched anti depresssants and that's where things went downhill, haven't been able to see psychiatrist in over a year so had to just deal with it. Being so depressed made me chase that inital high, not so much euphoria but the speedy effects.
Please advice me on the ketamine dose, Ill be getting some tomorrow and no doubt Ill try some, just this time I want to take a drug correctly, therapeutically and safely.