Conceptual Apocalypse

DOSE: T+ 0:00
insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals) T+ 4:00
insufflated Ketamine (powder / crystals) T+ 0:00 20 mg oral Pharms - Fluoxetine (daily) T+ 0:00
oral Mushrooms (daily) T+ 0:00
smoked Cannabis (daily)

       BODY WEIGHT:
   173 lb
     

Ketamine Conceptual Apocalypse

In spring 2016, I had a great deal of free time and a small degree of financial security. I used this period to explore psychedelics. My motives for this exploration involved the satiation of curiosity as well as a desire to overcome a fear of death. One of my most memorable exploratory experiences was my first use of ketamine.

At the time of usage, I was a 37-year-old man with extensive experience using cannabis, psychedelic mushrooms, mescaline, and LSD. I had experimented in my 20s with DXM in cough syrup but hadn�t really delved into dissociatives. I was smoking cannabis on a daily basis, and using small doses of psychedelic mushrooms every other or every day. It is also salient to note that I was taking 20 mg of Prozac each day. The SSRI didn�t seem to affect my experience using mushrooms or LSD.

I had purchased a gram of ketamine from a new vendor and read a great deal on how to conduct safe psychedelic explorations. I�d found Fadiman�s The Psychedelic Explorer�s Guide especially useful. On a late Wednesday morning, with the rain coming down in the desert, I insufflated approximately 200 mg of ketamine powder. I measured this visually, and cannot vouch for the accuracy of the measurement.

I had planned this for a week, as I knew no one was going to be around. My mescaline, mushroom, and LSD experiences had also been solitary. If it had not been for this plan, I may not have taken it, as my mood was somewhat fragile. My recent experience with regular mushroom use gave me confidence that whatever the experience of ketamine was, I was prepared for it. Boosted by this confidence, I had started a fire in the fireplace, thinking that I�d be able to be safe around it. The room was silent, and the doors were locked.

The powder was extremely unpleasant going in. I had read basics on ketamine dosage and onset, but was still very shocked by the speed that the ketamine hit me with. Within two to five minutes the room was spinning. Time became altered the moment that the ketamine hit: I lost all knowledge that I had been sober before and all knowledge of the length of the trip. The spinning was very different from the spins one experiences with alcohol: I felt that my sense of balance was completely skewed, as if the world was canted about 45 degrees off level my sense of balance was completely skewed, as if the world was canted about 45 degrees off level