DOSE: T+ 0:00 20 mg oral Amphetamines (pill / tablet) T+ 4:00 10 mg oral Amphetamines (pill / tablet) T+ 5:30 .6 g oral Morning Glory (ground / crushed) T+ 5:30 20 mg oral Cannabis - Hash (edible / food) T+ 5:30 2 oz oral Chocolate (edible / food) T+ 21:30 15 ug oral Amphetamines (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT:
160 lb
I am prescribed Adderall for ADHD 20mg when I woke up (8), 10mg in the afternoon (1 PM), and 15mg in the morning the next day (9). Currently struggling with insecurity brought on by an edible trip the day before (~15mg), a new relationship, and relational conflict with a close friend. The morning glory seeds were ground into a powder (no water extraction, just consumption of the powder itself) 5 weeks ago and stored in a tupperware container with a ground-up hash cube in a dark, room-temperature place. I did this at home, in a cold house (low 60s), and warm clothing. Most of the time was spent either in my bed or in my desk chair.
I�ve recently been exploring the idea of finding a balance between wants and shoulds (acting based off of urges/instincts versus consideration of societal expectations, internal short-term and long-term goals, etc.) and the idea of hermeneutics in social interactions. These insights actually came from my last LSA experience on 31 Jan. This led to a fight with my best friend of a few years. I wanted additional relational insight to reevaluate how I and they contributed to this problem.
I bought and made snacks (both edibles and the morning glory seeds give me the urge to chew) � spicy brownies, chocolate covered gummy bears, ice cream. I had only really eaten some chocolate the morning of (10 A.M.ish), so another drug effect to consider is caffeine since I was probably dosing it pretty regularly through consumption of dark chocolate and brownies.
The seeds and edible (seeds finely ground in coffee grinder over a month ago, edible crushed into mostly powder and some larger granules with a rock) were taken at 2:30 with some water (2 oz) and chocolate chips. I swallowed most of the mixture with the water and used the chocolate chips to gather up the rest in my mouth and get rid of the awful taste.
0:00 - Started feeling nausea almost immediately (4th time taking morning glory seeds and this seems to be the case every time)
0:50 - heavy limbs
1:00 - time distorted, feels very long. Music (theramin) lasted for what felt like hours. Was beautiful.
1:30 - Visual distortions: edges of objects blurred, melting. Colors of textured backgrounds enhanced, vibrant
2:30 - Full-blown, eyes-closed visuals. Started seeing a world form from the music. Moved to bed from desk chair (less movement in seat, abs seem to contract a lot and exaggerate feeling of nausea when eating LSA seeds so I figured that laying flat would help)
3:00 - Very elevated heartrate (100-130 bpm for duration of trip, including the next day). Dissociated and started to experience myself as both a male and female inhabiting a mirror dimension. Was masturbating at this point and believe that�s how I ended up dividing into multiple beings. Felt like I had both sets of genitals and was simultaneously experiencing penetration from their perspectives. Interpreted the prostate and clitoris as analogues for opposite-sex genitals and experienced multiple prostate orgasms (no ejaculation), although I perceived them as vaginal ones. Then, I split into an uncountable, seemingly infinite number of people, cells, and organisms experiencing this (and existence in the broad sense) simultaneously. Eventually stopped touching myself because I became overwhelmingly aware of my rapid heart rate, which I interpreted as the beats of multiple beings/versions of myself existing at once in the same space. Eventually stopped touching myself because I became overwhelmingly aware of my rapid heart rate, which I interpreted as the beats of multiple beings/versions of myself existing at once in the same space.