DOSE:
1 cup
oral
Ayahuasca
(tea)
BODY WEIGHT:
198 lb
I recently attended (4) Ayahuasca ceremonies at [a retreat] out of Iquitos Peru. I kept a journal of all four of my ceremonies. This was my first time experiencing this astounding medicine. I went there for some help that I wasn't receiving thru western capitalistic driven medicine. I suffer from all four of the major afflictions Ayahuasca is known to treat (Addiction, anxiety, depression, PTSD).
Ceremony #1: (BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR).... Oh well, Here it comes, ready or not. We were gathered in the maloka (Ceremony building). One of the Facilitators was giving us our orientation (very pretty girl, had blonde hair, long legs and nice butt - reminded me of my wife when we first met). Believe it or not, I forced myself to keep my thoughts clean, I've worked six months getting ready for this.
They all smoke these hand rolled cigarettes of Peruvian tobacco called machapo. It is very strong but has no additives. She said you need to smoke these things and blow the smoke all over yourself for protection. I raised my hand and explained that I have emphysema and haven't been using my inhalers as instructed in preparation for Ayahuasca usage. Also I'm an ex-smoker/nicotine addict. She said you're not supposed to inhale. (Oh great, I get to act like Bill Clinton.) Also everyone has a bottle of Florida water. It is a watered down cologne of some sort. Doesn't smell bad but doesn't appeal to me either. The street guide back in Iquitos told me I needed this stuff so I had mine as well. You splash this stuff over your head and rub it everywhere you can. Also pre-ceremony you take a floral bath. The local women put various flower petals/leaves in buckets of river water. You take it down by the river, put your intentions into it and pour it over your head and entire body and then sit on the deck and let it dry. You don't try to remove any of it if you can. We are to gather back in the maloka @ 18:30.
OK, We're all in the maloka. It is very quiet and serious. They are setting up 3 candles in the center. They are also burning some type of wood incense. It is now dark outside. I see someone coming with a flashlight. It is the Shamans (Siler, Guillermo and Carlita. Siler (Head Shaman) is dressed in ceremony clothes (Noble looking robe). Carlita also has on nice ceremony clothes. Guillermo has on his regular clothes (he is actually Siler's teacher, he walks with a limp. They have a special chair he sits in. Siler and Carlita sit/lay on mats like everyone else).
John (one of the facilitators) takes his place near the Shamans and calls out the first person to come for their medicine. Oh shit, This is serious stuff! Oh well, others have been smoking their mapacho. I light mine and start blowing smoke on myself as best as I can. Stuff is very harsh. Bad Gary (My negative side) wants to inhale to feel the nicotine rush but I don't give in, puff enough to cover myself and then put the stinking thing out. I splash the Florida water over myself (WHEN IN ROME). John finally calls out my name. I get up off my mat and I feel myself shaking. Do I really want to do this shit??? I sit down in front of John. The Shamans are watching me. John looks at me and smiles. He pours me a full shot and hands it to me. I am shaking and afraid I will spill it. I ask if it is OK to knock on the glass (for permission). He laughs and says 'Sure, Are you trying to wake her up?' Actually I just wanted to be as humble and polite as possible. You are supposed to put your intentions into the Ayah glass. Mine were; Please heal me, Please cleanse me, Please love me. I already had a bad taste in my mouth from the machapo. Oh well, moment of truth. Closed my eyes and threw back the shot. Got most of it but some still in the glass. I turned it up again and got it all. Tasted like burnt coffee/bitter thin syrup of sort. Gag reflexes could have clicked in but they didn't. John looked me in the eyes and smiled and said 'Enjoy the trip brother'. I shakily got up, smiled and returned to my mat. The point of no return had been passed.
Well, the candles were blown out and we sat/laid on our mats silently in the dark and waited for the medicine to kick in. I was a bit nervous and my mouth tasted somewhat bad from the machapo and the Ayah. I didn't rinse out (you can't drink any water but you can rinse) because I wanted to taste/feel it all. After what seemed to be about 15 minutes I could feel something coming on. The air was coming alive with some sort of energy. I could sense a rhythm in the space. Slight colored geometric patterns started appearing. I felt a slight bit of nausea coming on. Was it nerves or was it actually the medicine? The Shamans then started to make some sort of swishing sound. Then they made a sigh/yawning sound. It was kind of eerie. Then they came on with a combined singing that was a bit unsettling. Suddenly 'UGG-BER-RCK!!!' Some poor bastard just heaved his guts out. The singing intensified. Then someone on the other side retched loudly as well. Oh shit. Here we go, this is what I signed up for??? People started purging all around. The sound made me want try to purge but Beth had said not to force it. It will come when the time was right. Well the Ayah really started to kick in. I was feeling quite nauseous and wishing that I wasn't there (Counterproductive).
Then I became aware that there were strange beings all around me. They weren't trying to harm me, They were just really checking me out. The next thing I knew they were passing thru space into my head. Oh Fuck! This is too much. I start to get scared and they start to reflect the fear as well. Then I remember that Mother Ayah actually loves me and is here to help/heal me. By now I'm in the fetal position. I remember to breathe and try to calm back down. They start calming down as well. I realize that I'm not in Kansas anymore (Wizard of OZ). I am in control of myself and how I behave directly affects how they behave. OK, they are here to to help me. Lay back, stay calm, Let them do what they need to do. I had layers of beautiful strands of color on crystallized wires that were connected in various weaves and shapes (my mind). There were also different vibrations and sounds emitting from them. The creatures/helper spirits looked like dragon flies with mosquito like faces. The creatures/helper spirits looked like dragon flies with mosquito like faces.