DOSE:
smoked
DMT
(freebase)
35 mg
oral
4-AcO-MiPT
(powder / crystals)
14 mg
oral
4-AcO-DiPT
(powder / crystals)
1 hit
oral
LSD
(blotter / tab)
30 mg
insufflated
DPT
(powder / crystals)
120 mg
oral
MDMA
(powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT:
95 lb
My Background: Fascinated with tryptamines, dreams, and the exploration of my mind (the last two from a young age); experienced with many different psychedelics.
PRELUDE:
The following write-up is a collection of most of the DMT experiences I have had over the past two years. I went through a time period where I was using DMT fairly often because I was so interested in the unique experiences it offered as a psychedelic, and I have realized now that it's best to not use it as frequently. I base this on the fact that I now have a higher tolerance than I used to, and breaking through at some points became very hit or miss (sometimes even when I took hit after hit, it's almost as if I only broke through at certain times that were 'right', regardless of how high or low the dose). My dosage at the beginning started around 20mg, and later on I started using more like 40mg (and 50mg a few times) but unfortunately I didn't record the dosage for each specific trip. I don't regret anything, as this has all been a learning process and now I have a wealth of interesting experiences to share here - it is going to be a delight to write this up (I am remembering all of these experiences based on notes in my DMT journal). This is going to be long, but feel free to just read a few if you don't have the time for all of it!
BACKGROUND INFO:
It is quite a story! Some of these experiences have seemed to be continuations of previous experiences, and there are also certain 'entities' that I have encountered multiple times. I must explain that the way I look at 'entity contact' on DMT is that these entities may exist separately from us or they may exist solely within us (in this case, it would be useful to interpret these experiences in the same way we would dreams). I also think it's possible that these entities may be part of ourselves and separate at the same time; for example maybe they operate from 'microconsciousnesses' that inhabit and make up our larger, springboard consciousness that we operate from, and perhaps DMT provides us access to this type of interaction or communication. I suppose my point is that in regards to these otherworldly perceptions, I don't believe anything for sure and I keep an open mind to all of the options. When describing my experiences, I will likely refer to these entities as if they are actual beings that are separate from us, as that is the way it has often felt for me when in hyperspace.
I hope that these experiences give the reader an idea of how diverse DMT experiences can be for one single person. My experiences have ranged from spiritually glowing to mind-boggling to disgusting and terrifying, and entities I have 'met' have had many different qualities - some have been helpful and affirming of all that I value in life, and others seemed to intend to use me for their own purposes or trick me. Even throughout the difficult times, I have remained fascinated by this compound and eager to learn all the way, and still am to this day.
The first time I really got a strong effect on DMT, I still felt ties to my ego and environment. I encountered three alien-like beings that were tall and slender. They weren't very detailed; they were seen mainly as silhouettes. One of them came up to me with a round seed-like object in his hands and presented it to me. It had a glowing pinpoint of light, and he seemed to be trying to get me interested in the object. During this experience, I was on the phone with my partner (D) and he was doing 5-MeO-DMT on the other end. I think that D's experience must've not been as encompassing as mine, because during my experience I heard him saying my name on the phone and this confused me a bit. I told him, 'Don't call me that.' When I turned my attention to the phone to tell him this, the entity that was offering me the object seemed to back off as if he understood, 'Oh, you're busy right now. I'll come back another time.' I remember being a little disappointed, as he dissipated right after this and I began to come down. So yeah, it was actually a pretty typical experience for DMT� and it is worth noting that at this point I purposely hadn't listened to Terence McKenna or many others describing their DMT experiences because I had heard that so many people experience similar concepts and entities
I wanted to see if, without expectations, the same sorts of things would happen for me. After this first experience, I started reading all about the similarities across DMT experiences of various individuals. I found out that it wasn't uncommon for people to have objects bestowed upon them by entities. I was simply amazed that my experience had been a 'textbook DMT experience' regardless of the fact that I hadn't had any expectations because I hadn't read much about the specifics of others' experience.
After this, intrigued, I had a couple more experiences that week. One of them was pretty much just colorful eye candy and no banter with entities - it just consisted of orange and lime beings in hula skirts, dancing Buddha-like beings, and sentiments of my dream the night before. Another time, I felt lonely and wanted to communicate with somebody but instead I found myself in a barren space that seemed to be deep underground. This space consisted only of machines and devices. They reminded me of cameras a little bit, as they seemed invasive in some sense and pointed towards me. This whole dark-ish experience seemed very vague and there was not much color. For the rest of these experiences, I will just write about what I encountered in each visit to hyperspace (separated by stars) and not so much about the circumstances under which the DMT was had, unless important.
There were beings all around me. They were surrounding me and had objects that seemed pointy, container-like and made of glass. These beings seemed reptilian - how cliche. They proceeded to put a viscous liquid into pointy glass containers and then put these containers in the dirt, where they burrowed into the ground. I felt that the entities were trying to tell me something about the state of the Earth. At the end, they dispersed except for one being. I think that he was male and very young or small. He seemed lonely, but I got the impression that he was acting or not being completely honest. He told me to please not leave that realm. I communicated back that I enjoyed it there and that I also wished sometimes that I could stay, and told him that he probably somehow knew that better than I did.
I was sitting at a desk with a bunch of colleagues (they seemed human). This experience definitely had a business-like vibe to it. I felt accepted and happy and like I enjoyed my job. This trip was actually rather uneventful, but the interesting thing is that I sort of had a feeling like I was looking into my future. This feeling was strange in itself, because it felt like a premonition.
I felt like I was being tested, and had more 'reptilian' feelings. I felt pretty uncomfortable, and was still in contact with this reality a little bit. My mind justified my feelings of discomfort (such as my partner D was playing some sort of first person shooter video game in the other room and I could hear disturbing noises from the game in the background). This justification was probably an auto-defense mechanism. I encountered entities again and got the feeling that the general consensus about me in the space was that even if a 'dark' or 'evil' spirit encountered me, I was so naive that I would probably find the good within it. This could be good as well as bad� Bad as in I could be taken advantage of or used as some sort of host, but the good thing was that I could make the situation 'good' and change things just from my perception alone. They seemed like they were evaluating me on something� uneasy.
This was quite delightful! I was in a different place entirely and it was very, very colorful. This is the only experience I can think of where I saw 'elf-like' creatures, though I didn't think of this way when I was there. I was in a multi-dimensional place that unfolded in all directions and on all sides. I couldn't tell where the ceiling, floor or walls began. There were boxes on every 'wall' lined up everywhere, and each box had a small wooden looking creature inside. Each creature had a sort of pointed hat and interchangeable body parts that could be switched with the parts of others. They were all identical in shape and form, but had different colored and textured parts. 'Souls' or energies could also transfer from one being to another. I could become part of them and they could become part of me. There was a constant 'existential narrative', most of which I can't remember.. but it was about what existence was and what the purpose was of this space and its role in existence. I remember that the narrative assured me that 'I could come back anytime I wanted'. There were so many AMAZING details that I wish I could remember of this place. At the time, I remember knowing that it was so intricate and out of this world that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to possibly remember everything at the time, which kind of devastated me because I wanted so desperately to be able to bring it back. I still took in everything that I could and it was so beautiful.
I felt like� 'Wait.. isn't there something I'm supposed to be finding out; inquiring about?' And as soon as I asked, everything exploded in my face. Everyone rushed forth, urgently giving me a message. War gears turned. Imagery of guns, bombs, war symbols, cannons, tanks and strange masked people flooded my field of vision and emotion. It was overwhelming to say the least. There was a warning� 'This is imminent� this is serious�' Information was disclosed unto me about the state of the world. The feeling became more and more abstract as well as terrifying and alarming. Then suddenly, I felt a feeling of LOSS unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I've never had anybody really close to me die in my life, but I felt like this right now. It felt so wrong, like something had been prematurely snatched away from me; from life. It felt so dirty and even slightly 'evil', but that sounds stupid. Profound sadness and grief. The resolution was, this really could happen. But there was good news too- I had love and I needed to appreciate what I had because who ever knew what could happen? At the end of that experience, some sort of trickster-ish entity said something to me like, 'Wait two months before visiting us again�. Ha.. okay, two weeks is fine. We really do want you here; don't feel bad!' �So bizarre.
I had a very special trip with D and my friend, N. I could tell right away that this was going to be more intense than anything I had experienced on DMT up until that point. I slipped into a place where I lost complete contact with the waking reality as I knew it, and did not remember my surroundings or who I was at all (yet I must have still remembered my life somehow and you will soon hear why). I returned to a place that seemed very familiar. Everything that had ever happened to me was happening at once. I felt a presence of sorts, but no communication (at least not a banter). At the beginning, I felt terrified but I somehow loved it at the same time because it was just so overwhelming and RIGHT. I felt scrutinized and I knew I had to give up everything and all control in order to be alright, so I surrendered as quickly as I could. I'm glad I did, otherwise it would have probably been unbearable. I thought that I was in other places entirely. I felt specific 'era feelings' of different time periods of my life. They were SO real and had synesthetic qualities. I felt myself living in all of the places I'd ever lived in before, yet I still somehow was not in touch with my ego; it felt like a familiar dream space. It was like I was reliving every moment of my entire life at once, and this one moment was eternal. I saw bright colors that were arranged sort of like a Western blot but they were glowing and shifting and more colorful. It was like a code. It would change abruptly, like it was being operated by a light switch that had a lot of different settings. I remember one time, the 'code' turned black and white, which alarmed me somehow for a second. As I came down, I remembered my life again and realized that I was in N's bedroom and had just had some DMT, and I just felt nothing but pure bliss. I kept laughing at the sheer ridiculousness that is Life and existence, and was so wowed by the whole experience.
On the porch outside. The atmosphere was inspirational! This trip was kind of similar to the one I had at N's house in the way that I transcended my tethers to this reality in a similar way. The first thing that happened was I felt like I was splashed with water or had water poured all over me, drenched, and the feeling was so vivid. I also felt like there was something in my throat. (I later found out on DMT-nexus that this sensation is called the 'DMT throat marble'�) I went through a sort of path.. perhaps a fabric maze, though I was sensing where I was rather than visually seeing it. I was washed in deja vu, as I remembered this exact path or process as something I had gone through before, maybe even numerous times. It didn't feel as if it had happened in a dream or psychedelic experience, but it's possible it had� not sure. I knew that I would never remember all the details as it was so complex� there were things going on and projects happening everywhere all around me, and I was a part of it. Every actual movement I made caused the colors and scene to change. If I put my physical hands out, with my eyes closed I could see the resonance it created in the 'realm'. I could feel the physical qualities of things synesthetically. When I came down, I watched reality reassemble. Everything for a bit was wispy and stringlike, blowing in the wind, as if the fabric of reality had been reduced to mere strings. It was really amazing to watch and the comedown was kind of overwhelming.
This next one was a vague, conceptual, non-colorful experience. I saw human forms wearing black business suits, sunglasses and hats� I got the feeling that they were doing something covert. I experienced a sort of 'video collage' of them doing all sorts of sped-up business transactions� shaking hands, driving places to get and deliver products, selling things, etc. At the very end, I saw one of the businessmen return home to his family (wife and children) and not pay very much attention to them. Apparently, he cared more about his job than his family.
I had an experience where I felt like I was going through some sort of obstacle course. I met other human spirits (not sure how I could tell or what made them seem human to me, but that is what I perceived). We all had to help one another to get through the course. At the end, I felt immense gratitude and it seemed like all of the human spirits were thanking one another for their help. :)
This time I did the DMT on top of LSD and 4-AcO-DiPT. I did the DMT twice during this session. (You can find the entire experience report under my name here: (http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=99864)).
The first experience: My friend and I were confronted (we both felt this) by some sort of strange angry presence of an entity that seemed to inhabit the room we were in. We talked about it on the way down and had experienced the exact same thing. (She'd had a lot of strange DMT experiences in this room already, actually.) To me, the spirit was angrily asking me, 'Why do all you humans ignore us? We're all around you, ALL the time, causing so much to happen, yet you credit yourselves for everything!'� I tried to communicate to the spirit that I liked sharing reality with them and that I felt that there was a lot of resonance from forces that we could not observe acting upon everything all the time. I tried to 'console the anger' of this entity. My friend and I both felt more calm and less of an angry presence around the same point in the trip, after this.
The next experience that night: As I tried to light the third hit of DMT, my spatial sense was so off that it took a lot of effort to figure out where to hold the lighter. It didn't help my efforts that my eyes were darting around as if I were in REM sleep mode. I looked around the room as I managed to take 2 more hits, and noticed that the room had turned into some sort of candy factory-like territory. Every piece of furniture and object in the room was static, intact and took on the exact same shape and form as it normally would, BUT each thing had its own special pattern that did not overlap with the patterns of other objects! For instance, my friend's walls (which were usually just plain white) were wallpapered in lime green and pink stripes. The plain wooden dresser was bright blue with bright pink flowers and teddy bears. I think that another piece of furniture had painted colorful candy canes on it. I was simply amazed that everything in the room could look exactly the same and be static; unmoving, yet literally looked like it was painted and wallpapered completely differently. It was so realistic and seemed like a dimension warp or something.
After I closed my eyes, needless to say, things became even more interesting.
The place I was taken to also reminded me of a candy factory or playroom; themes from childhood were constantly present. There was a rotating gear, a sort of mandala that dominated my vision in the center of a colorful, tasty room. The gears/sections of the mandala were rhythmically changing and transforming systematically like the second hand of a clock. Every second or so (or however much time that really was), a section of it would develop into something else, and so on. Everything I saw from that point on was so incredibly detailed and rhythmic. I felt like I was a little kid in an interactive, virtual reality candy shop; this space was very synesthetic and even tasted like candy.
One time, I found myself in some sort of barn. I felt like I was drowning in a pile of hay or something, and I felt the presence of a horse-like entity. My visions corresponded appropriately in some sort of abstract way. At the time, I was kind of turned off by the experience because I honestly didn't really want to be there in a pile of hay� something about the experience felt 'cheesy' to me. As I was coming down, I realized that the reason I'd had this experience was because I had some things to do for work, but I'd had a lot of other things to tend to as well and had been putting off calling my boss (who reminded me and my boyfriend of a horse� and I have mentioned to several other people that he seems horselike and most people have seemed to agree).. I found the symbolism to be interesting and very reminiscent of dreams (latent and manifest content).
Had some DMT on top of Ketamine. This was extremely visual and incredibly synergistic it seemed. I noticed that the sheets on my bed switched patterns with one another (one had flowers and one was a solid blue color) and arranged themselves by color into a pinwheel with a big black hole in the middle. I felt like all the energy in the room was accordingly being sucked into the black hole, and I felt like I was going in too. I think I may have been sucked in, because suddenly things became black and void-like� but then when I emerged elsewhere, I felt a sense of grandiose importance emerge in my mind. I encountered an entity who seemed to have some sort of high status, business-wise. He asked me if I would like to take on a very important job position in hyperspace, since I was apparently 'fit for the position'. I felt so bewildered and astonished at the time.. as if I was thinking.. 'You'd really choose me?!' .. I felt like the position was something very serious and important and I didn't think it should be taken lightly. I psychically communicated to the entity that I needed a bit of time to think, as it seemed like an important position of leadership as the entity had implied. I thought about it for what seemed like a while (but was probably not actually very long), and I decided to respect the offer/position and take it. I communicated this to the entity, but then the experience dissipated.
next experience was very much a continuation of the last one. This time, I had DMT on top of 4-ho-MiPT. This was a very strong experience, as I completely lost touch with reality and upon coming back, was like 'Wow, I'm in this life! I remember this!' ..one of those experiences. Anyway, my understanding is that I met the 'boss' entity.. he seemed to be some sort of CEO in hyperspace! (Ridiculous to think about, but that is how it seemed.) He seemed all-knowing and completely ancient. He appeared to be made out of antique wood, and was covered in various compartments such as drawers, doors and windows. During this experience, I felt very honored to meet this entity. It seemed like he imparted some serious knowledge unto me about 'intent manifestation' in the waking life through dream and trance states.
Had some DMT on top of MXE. This experience was quite bewildering! I instantly felt like I was punched in the face with confusion and encountered an entity before I knew it. Collided into the entity, in fact. This entity was SUPER pointy, and accordingly seemed to have spikes. Encountering it actually caused me physical pain in some way. It was orange and/or yellow, and black. It reminded me of the electric legendary bird in Pokemon, Zapdos (zap-dose.. ha). I felt like I was either zapped or stuck by a porcupine, or a mixture of both. Stunned is the best word to describe the way I felt at the time.
This next experience, I was still pretty grounded in reality, as in I didn't lose contact with my ego and still knew where I was� But I still experienced entity contact. I saw orange forms and felt a feminine presence. I felt a tremendous healing power from this presence and felt like I was being taken care of (I hadn't been feeling top-notch the past couple of days). The female entities were very warm and didn't seem like they wanted anything other than to help me� the most warmth I've ever felt from DMT entities. They fed me food.. it was long, and when looking back, it reminded me of intestines in its shape (but not gross or anything). I felt happy and cared for, and it seemed that the food was meant to improve my health.
3 big hits. I don't know where I was, but I was confronted by a mother entity. She was shapeless; dripping, melting, ugly, terrifying, disgusting, and even smelled bad. I wasn't sure what was going on, but next thing I knew, she was engaging me in psychic conversation. She had a wallet of some sort, and began showing me photographs of her son. I could tell that she loved her son very much. She also had a bunch of his artwork that she was obviously proud of, and began showing it to me. The problem was, her son AND all of his artwork were also melting, grotesque and disgusting. I could still feel her genuine love for her son and pride in his artwork, but at the same time, no matter how hard I tried to show her love, I couldn't hide the fact that I felt grossed out by her and the entire situation. I could tell that she could tell that I was feeling uncomfortable.
When I came down from this trip, I found myself feeling guilty for not being able to feel/give the love that I felt that I should have given her. So I had another hit of DMT and tried to meditate on the experience and its meaning. I tried to send out my purest, most intended form of love to her and every other entity under this umbrella called consciousness. I even tried to psychically apologize to her for my reaction to her. I felt a little bit better after that, like I had resolved something.
In the winter one year, I made a habit of doing DMT in the shower. Sounds weird I know, but I was doing low doses mainly because I didn't want to lose complete contact with reality. This shower had beautiful tiles and strange walls with many faces in the patterns that appeared to be 'trapped spirits in rapture'. (That is the way I saw them most of the time, anyway.) I knew that it'd be a beautiful place for the trips, and I was right. Seeing the water on the tiles reminded me of a whimsical dream I'd had back in 2004 where I was in paradise. In the dream, I had been in a tiled cave with pools of all different depths, planks up in the air with flowing streams inside, bridges with streams, waterfalls, and flies. No matter where you dropped down or jumped into the water, it was okay because you would ultimately fall into deeper pool at the bottom. Seeing the water on the tiles almost instantly made me relive that dream, which has been one of my favorite dreams of all time. A divine moment of truth in a tiled cave with waterfalls all around. Not entirely breakthrough, but beautiful nonetheless.
One time, I got tricked pretty hardcore when doing DMT. I thought I'd put a pretty large amount in the pipe, but I must have gotten it all in the first big hit. The pipe at this point, after this hit, meant something else to me entirely- it wasn't a pipe or a lighter. I felt like it was VERY important for me to keep hitting the pipe over and over again, like it was a special mission of mine. I don't even know what I was trying to accomplish at the time. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I'd been tricked and had spent the whole trip confused, trying to get more DMT. I felt very stupid and saw it as a metaphor to stop being such a 'DMT glutton'.
This next experience was after I hadn't done DMT for a while. Everything was very orange once again, and I met up with the same female healing entities that I'd encountered in a previous experience. Only this time, there were more of them. I felt their healing, caring presence strongly just like last time. We all sat in the space in peas, as if we were at a meeting of meditation to 'just be'. I felt like none of our 'stories' mattered; none of us had anything to prove about who we were, what we were trying to accomplish or anything. It was so peaceful. But then, something told me to sing. So I started singing/channeling a song from or for the spirits. They became interested and came up to me very close. One of them placed a clay jar in front of me and with every note I sang, an entity would place a small glowing (pinpoint of light) object into the jar. I think the objects were mainly lime green or yellow. I gradually transitioned back, but I kept singing the song as I came down. I recorded it on my phone so that I would never forget it. I still sing this song before doing DMT sometimes, as it helps to calm me down and sometimes I can invoke those healing entities with the song. :)
One of the times where I invoked these healing spirits by singing the beautiful song I had been given, I was at my summer apartment last year. When I met up with them this time, they seemed a bit concerned about my health again (my health had gotten a bit worse and I was constantly having stomach problems). They came up to me and seemed to be offering me healing. Then, before I knew it, one of the entities extended and fused into my stomach area and seemed to actually become a part of me. As I felt nothing but benevolence from these entities, my understanding was that she wanted to be there to help me to get through difficult times ahead, because I was definitely going to need resilience. (And it's true- the past year has been one of the most difficult times of my life.. but I think I'm doing well.) After she became part of me, I felt appreciative of her presence.. but still in a bit of shock at what I'd just experienced�!
I felt uncertain, so I started singing. By the time of this experience, things had started to get kind of muddy and I wasn't remembering my experiences very well. This trip was followed by another long break of not using DMT. What was happening had been clear in the experience, but afterwards I could only remember abstractions and not the manifest content of whatever happened. To my best understanding after the experience, I knew that I had been given something that I seemed I could 'take home' from the experience. I understood that this was the purpose of hyperspace, whatever that meant at the time. To take things home. I felt like I could actually bring home this physical thing that I had acquired. (I am unsure of whether I'd been given an object, or fed some sort of food. Only recently have I begun to possibly comprehend what may have happened during this experience, and I'll revisit this later in the write up.) Though I believed at first, gradually I realized that whatever I'd been given was not something that I could access any longer once I begun to get back in touch with 'reality'. I realized that it was all a metaphor- I could instead learn a powerful tool. After I realized this, I was given some sort of schooling on this powerful tool that I could learn. I think that what happened is some entity threatened to hurt or maybe kill another entity, and I, in order to save that entity, had to sing a song. I knew exactly what to sing. I felt challenged throughout this part, obviously. I felt like I came out on top and saved the entity and passed this test. I felt happy with my abilities, but uneasy and unsure at what I had just witnessed and had held over my head. Upon coming down, I thought about how I knew that my experiences would be so much crisper and clearer and I would learn so much more from them if I used DMT less frequently� so after this, I started using DMT pretty sparingly once and for all, and to this day mainly only use it on special occasions or on top of other psychedelics.
Smoked DMT near the end of a DPT experience (perhaps I should have had it earlier). The theme of this trip was something like, 'I could be iconic,' as in my ideas were worth circulating and if I had the motivation and intuition to put them out there, I could in fact be iconic one day. I felt that I needed to believe in myself more. At the beginning of this experience, it is also interesting to note that I saw the entire room in my field of vision turn into a mirror image of itself. The carpet that I was sitting upon on my beanbag was very colorful and I saw the carpet come to a point like it was inside a kaleidoscope. Everything had copied itself from one side of my vision and pasted itself onto the other side! I thought that this was incredibly interesting at the time and still do.
Did DMT again while I was on DPT� This time, I saw my personal blueprint. It was mainly the colors of violet, indigo, and a bit of fuchsia. A little bit of red as well. It was roundish and seemed to emanate all that I loved or stood for in life. I immersed myself in it and felt the divine presence within my aura. I felt appreciative of everything in existence. It was a very blissful experience where I felt right at home.
Another time, I had DMT on top of DPT, once again at the tail end of the experience. I was transported to that extremely alien-like realm that I had been to so many times before. I felt like I was being schooled on existence. A teacher entity that seemed to have some sort of almost condescending power over me was trying to convince me that 'they' constructed our reality completely, and tried to get me to agree that this reality was not under our control; it was being constructed and predetermined by an outside force completely. Even though I had lost complete touch with reality, I did not listen blindly. I was skeptical (not that I disbelieved it, but I didn't believe it either� I always like to keep an open mind when it comes to these sorts of existential matters). The entity was SO persistent about trying to convince me! I remained neutral on the matter, but courteous and attentive all the same.
This next experience consisted of about 30mgs of DMT (normal dose for me) along with a few milligrams of 5-MeO-DMT and three nitrous chargers in one big balloon (so it was easier to inhale it all). I met up with a bunch of human forms (kindred souls) that reminded me of myself. I felt like I was being schooled on existence again (Existence 101 Class) and there was a teacher entity telling us that we were all meant to be intent manifestors; that we were people who were extra in touch with our intuition and spirituality, therefore we had more influence on the outcome of things than the average person. I understood that the kindred souls in the room were of varying maturities and had their own unique problems. Some were battling with issues of self-confidence, and some were egomaniacs who had realized and abused their power of influence over others. Some had found a healthy middle ground. I was told that I needed to be extra careful with my intentions and make sure to not ever abuse this special power that I had within myself. This was a very empowering trip (but don't worry; I didn't suffer any delusions of grandeur even if it sounds like I did.. ha ha).
The next experience I had (quite recently) was one of my strangest DMT experiences of all time� perhaps paralleled only by my most recent one. This was with MDMA. As soon as I entered the trance state, I felt my mouth filling up with some sort of 'food' but it was textured just like dirt and even tasted like it. I felt like it was being forced into my mouth, but not in a violent way; just a little overwhelming. I instinctively accepted the food and swallowed it because I felt like it was the right thing to do. It felt like medicine of the earth (as I said, it had the same texture as dirt). I felt an intense flash of insight and knowledge after consuming this food. Perhaps it was 'food for thought'. I was reminded of how it is a personal mission of mine and theme in some of my trips that I am 'meant to bring together the world of dreams and the waking state'. This has been a literal idea of mine that I entertain, but more so, it is a metaphor to me and I feel that it means that I need to help people to be more in touch with their subconscious mind, their dreams, and their intuitions. After this, I felt a strong urge to send powerful intent to the whole universe and to all of the people in this world, for them to become more in touch with these parts of themselves in hopes of making the world a better place. With my friend, in tears, I voiced my intent. It was a profoundly beautiful moment.
The last experience I've had to this day (very recently) almost seemed like a follow-up of the previous one. After finishing the dose (this time done after having 4-ho-MiPT), I saw something I can only describe as white, wispy, smoky ribbons materialize. These ribbons eventually gave way to what looked like some sort of folded square. It looked kind of like a package, but it looked like it was made out of clay or dough and folded a little bit like an envelope. It was sitting on a table that seemed to be in a location that reminded me of the Catholic church I had to attend in elementary school. I interacted with the entity by waving my arms in a specific way, which 'woke it up'. Then I began a banter with it. I had a complete deja vu experience where I was once again fed food (presumably by the entity), and it felt EXTREMELY real.. just as much as the last time. I felt the texture in my mouth; it seemed kind of cardboard-ish, wafer-ish or some similar texture (I later made a connection that this texture reminded me of the 'host' of the Holy Spirit that we were given as Communion). I was given three of them, and went through an experience that I was absolutely certain I'd had before (this is where that experience I wrote about earlier that was muddy where I was given or fed 'something physical to take home' comes in� perhaps this was the experience, or perhaps it was a different DMT experience that I had trouble remembering, or maybe a dream I'd had). In any case, I knew in that moment that this was the purpose of hyperspace; to bring back this material that I was eating! I once again instinctively swallowed it, and was fed the food three times as I mentioned.
The last time, I felt the food lingering in my mouth, as you do when you are chewing food and get some stuck in your mouth. I could still feel it as I was coming down, and I (stupidly, HAHA) tried to see if I could retain it and retrieve it after I came down from my trip! I realized very quickly how stupid of an idea this was, as I remembered the 'merits of metaphor' and thought to myself besides this that it was almost an insult to this great gift I had received. I stopped trying to retain some of the food and just thought to myself about the gift and how to utilize it. My friend who was with me during this experience told me that he had witnessed me doing the hand motions and dance, speaking to the entity, and then making obvious eating and swallowing motions.
Since this last experience, I've been researching a bit about people being given food to eat during ayahuasca sessions. The closest phenomenon I have been able to find is when tribal peoples were given ' tsensak', or 'magical darts' to swallow and regurgitate during their ayahuasca experiences in order to either bewitch or heal others. I have also thought a lot about the parallels of this experience to 'the host' and 'the body of Christ' and how this experience may have been symbolic of that. I always try to entertain all possibilities and meanings, and experience great enjoyment in doing so.
I feel that throughout all of these experiences, the most important thing I've learned is how important metaphor is (especially when it comes to manifesting one's intentions and interpreting experiences), and how important it is to keep an open mind. I already discussed my feelings and positions on entities and what they might be, and explained a bit on how I've personally interpreted my trips. I hope that you, the reader, have enjoyed this collection of experiences� because I have found experiencing DMT to be an incredible learning process� no matter how otherworldly the content or how difficult it may seem to integrate the bizarre into everyday reality at times, I find it to be fascinating and have some interesting dream-like value when going through the process of interpretation and integration. Hyperspace is an amazingly alien-feeling place, yet at the same time it still feels like the homiest home I have ever felt! This 'DMT space' feels like the place my soul always tends to return to� between days; between conscious thoughts; between lives. I will always have a special place in my heart for these Divine Moments of Truth. Thank you for reading, especially to anybody who actually got through all of this!!
Exp Year: 2011-2013ExpID: 101485 Gender: Female Age at time of experience: Not Given Published: May 16, 2014Views: Not Supported [ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Mindfulness (405), DMT (18) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Personal Preparation (45), Relationships (44), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3), General (1) -->