DOSE:
oral
Amphetamines
BODY WEIGHT:
175 lb
I will give a brief history of my experience with drugs and addictions in general. Ever since I was little, I struggled with major anxiety, especially in social situations. I always avoided human contact whenever possible, and was never naturally a friendly person. Unless I was comfortable with you, I would not say a word to you. I�ve struggled with nail biting, something I continue to struggle with to this day. I also used to habitually twist and pull out patches of my hair as a kid to cope with anxiety and stress. Overall, you could say I was a nervous, and extremely anxious person.
Looking back at my past I can take an educated guess that perhaps my dopamine levels were naturally low, and this resulted in my rewards center not being activated often enough. This led me to believe that I wasn�t producing what I needed to be successful and obtain happiness. I always compared myself to others, and was envious for things that I didn�t have. I had a lot of mental issues and this eventually caused me to struggle in sports, although I was athletic. This led me to struggle constantly with myself, and I was essentially my own worst enemy when it came to most competitive activities. On top of this, I had a successful father, who pushed me to be the best I could be. He was very competitive, and often times yelled at me at games and events when I made a mistake. Not saying it was his fault, but this added pressure led me to believe I was a disappointment.
I turned to anything I could which gave me pleasure, and a sense of warmth. My friends introduced me to Xbox, and mountain dew, which eventually led to a sugar and caffeine addiction. This also led me to become heavily addicted to video games, as well as pornography. The addiction to pornography gave me a sense of guilt, and made it difficult to have confidence talking to women at the time.
Fast forward to my senior year, the first time I ever tried any sort of psychoactive drug besides caffeine. I started to get into the party life and drinking became a regular thing. Any time I went to a party I had to drink enough to the point of losing inhibition enough to talk to strangers. Any time I went to a party I had to drink enough to the point of losing inhibition enough to talk to strangers.