This is not a typical trip report. It is a warning from the partner of someone who lost themselves to research chemical stimulants, A-PHP chief among them.
My boyfriend and I had been together for almost four years. We had experimented together with substances like 4-HO-MiPT and 6-APB on occasion, and those experiences were beautiful. They brought us closer. But then he discovered A-PHP, DCK, and 3-MeO-PCP, and everything changed.
The A-PHP was the worst. I would come home from work to find him paranoid, agitated, and convinced there were surveillance vans outside our home. He became verbally abusive when he was on it. The stimulant psychosis was unmistakable. He would pace, peer through the blinds, and accuse me of things that made no sense.
On the dissociatives, it was different but equally terrifying. I came home once with my best friend to find he had locked us out, broken the door handle, and was too incoherent to even tell us the door was broken. We had to break in. He could not walk or form words. He had to be hospitalized.
Over the past year I watched mania, depression, anxiety, and isolation take over the man I love. He has lost four jobs because he showed up to work intoxicated. I have had to take three jobs just to keep a roof over our heads. He has been hospitalized twice.
I video recorded him once after he insufflated 3-MeO-PCP so he could see what it was like to find the person you love drooling and unable to stand. It did not change anything.
I am sharing this because I want people to understand that the damage from these substances extends far beyond the user. It destroys the people who love them too. If you are reading this and you recognize yourself in this story, please reach out for help before you lose everything.