Over the corse of about 5 months i had countless benadryl trips this particular trip was not my highest dose but this was what i consider my first and only time experiencing true delirium. The memories from this trip are fuzzy but this is everything i can remember.
On the evening of January 9 2019 at I believe around 5:00pm I made the decision to take 700 milligrams of diphenhydramine (28 pills). I counted the pills out on the palm of my hand, popped them in my mouth and washed them down with a little bit of water. I then sat on the couch petting my dog waiting for it to hit. As the dph kicked in there were bugs crawling on the walls and i really had to piss. I got up went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I then took out my pocket knife examined it for a bit and then made a cut on my left thigh but i couldn’t feel it and i had no idea what blood was. I scraped the blood onto the edge of the knife and took a picture of it sent it to my brother asking something like “what is this?” I was so fascinated by blood it looked like jelly and tasted like shit and it was oozing out of my leg so i made another larger cut still unable to feel it as i watched the blood seep out of my leg. I sat in the bathroom for a while then wanted to go to bed so naturally i made my way to my bedroom. I opened the door to my bedroom and saw a woman sitting on my bed like brushing her hair or something. I said “oh sorry” thinking i just walked in her room then shut the door not thinking much of it i made my way down the hallway, while passing my bathroom i looked and saw my brothers cat sitting in the windowsill of my bathroom. I continued down the hall to my living room and sat down by my dog.
After sitting down i started texting my brother about how i felt ‘more better’ than usual i texted him for a while but the letters on my phones keyboard were shifting and getting blurry every time I’d use it so i told him i was going to walk my dog at about 11pm in a snow storm and stupidly thats what i did. I put her coat on and put on my coat and we walked down my backyard alongside a factory behind my house as we got towards the front of the factory my dog stops and stares ahead, her ears down looking towards a streetlight in the empty parking lot. This got my attention so i looked in the direction she was looking and standing under the streetlight was who i believe is known as the Hatman. This struck fear into the very core of my being. Seeing what i can only describe as a pure evil man dressed in all black and a black hat on no features were visible from where we were standing but we just stared at him for what felt like forever but was probably less than a minute. Then my dog turns around and sprints back so i run with her as fast as i fucking can, as i’m running i looked back and he was still standing there watching us. Next thing i knew i was inside sitting with my dog. At this point i believe i blacked out because i don’t remember anything after this except that i guess i talked to my parents for a while that night because i remember my mom mentioning my saying something that night. I can’t remember what though.
This is what i remember from that night. The next day i felt relatively normal. Only after this trip small doses that usually never did anything but made me tired had become much stronger. A day or two after this trip i took 250mg to help me sleep and was hearing voices a little over 12 hours after on my break at work. I believe after you experience a true delirium you’re never supposed to return, for nearly two months i was constantly hearing whispers and seeing shadows completely sober as well as being in a terrible depression and contemplating suicide daily. I guess i don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said about dph but i’m not going to tell you not to use it just be smart about it this drug can seriously fuck you up i’m just glad the damage wasnt permanent.