DOSE:
smoked
Cannabis
(flowers)
smoked
5-MeO-MIPT
(powder / crystals)
oral
Ayahuasca
(tea)
smoked
Tobacco - Cigarettes
BODY WEIGHT:
150 lb
Preparation for this day began almost 2 weeks ago when I found out that aya was going to be brewed by a friend I had intended to see after my family reunion. Little did I know that this preparation, no matter how thorough I thought it was, would not be enough to get me ready for today's experience.
I have been following the low-tyramine diet for the past 3-4 days now, my meals consisting of eggs, rice, and/or cottage cheese. All in all, the diet itself made me feel somewhat more clean and balanced. My sleep cycle was normal until the day of the actual experience. When I kicked off the start of my journey, I had already been awake for 16+ hours, of which I had worked 9+.
The day began at a slow pace when I left the family reunion to smoke a simple bowl of cannabis around 11am. Walking around my old elementary school, I packed and smoked the bowl, looking around at how much things had changed over the decade since I'd actually been a student there. It's amazing how different and yet how much the same things can look after 10 years.
And then it was back to the family reunion. Luckily, I'm already the black sheep of my family somewhat, so it's easy for me to just hide in the dark corners and avoid any unnecessary interaction. Eventually, I became extremely bored and decided it was time to call my only tribesman, jonah, to have him come and deliver me from the hell known as my family reunion.
Instead of waiting for J to get there to pick me up, I started walking. Approximate time: 2:30pm. As I was walking, I stopped to pack another bowl. I had taken two hits when J pulled up beside me and told me to hop in the car. Oh, yes. I forgot to mention. The area for the first half of this is extremely rural. I was able to walk down the highway openly smoking a bowl without any real fear of notice.
I hop in the car and proceed to ask if it's alright for me to finish smoking my freshly packed bowl in the car. The response I get surprises me somewhat. 'here, let me put a little something on that.'
And that is where the 5meo-mipt came into play.
At first, the aroma of the smoke was somewhat strange. Not unpleasant, just strange. After a few moments of trying to figure out just exactly what the smoke of cannabis + 5meo-mipt smelled like, we reached a communal conclusion:
Urinal cakes.
This was a truly momentous occasion at the time.
We drove to a friend of J's house. Real strange kids there. Strange hybrid of stereotypical emo kids and psychedelics. Made for a strange atmosphere. I remember being highly confused both during the drive and once we got there. Even though the roads we drove were roads I'd been accustomed to traveling for the first 19 years of my life, they all seemed so unfamiliar. Maybe it was just the changes that occur anywhere in 5 years of absence that made it seem like such an unknown area. Or maybe it was just the fact that I was blitzed on a wonderful tryptamine.
Standing up was rather difficult at this time. I don't remember much of the time we spent at the emodelic household. I didn't really remember much at all about it immediately after I walked out the door. It's as if I blocked out what happened there as a side-effect of shielding myself from the completely fucking bizarre vibe it had. All I can remember is feeling extremely sluggish and impatiently wanting to get out of there and on the road to our final destination.
And we were in the car once more. We turned up the music and I was awash in sound. Completely and totally inundated in a sea of aural sensation. I literally felt as if I were being completely and totally submerged in a sea of soundwaves. It was pure bliss. I was sprawled out across the back seat of the car with my eyes closed for the majority of the ride. When I did open my eyes, there were no intense visual effects, only mild 'heat wave'-like undulation of everything I looked at. It was quite pleasant.
We were on our way to J's girlfriend K's apartment for the rest of the experience. On the way there, we stopped so they could get a bite to eat, and I absolutely had to have ice cream. Luckily, dairy products wouldn't interfere with my low tyramine diet.
That little bit of plain vanilla ice cream was the greatest tasting food item I have ever eaten in my entire life. I was rather sad that it was gone so quickly, even though it took me a good 20 minutes or more to eat it. Each bite was roughly equivalent to my taste buds having an orgasm. God it was so good. Its passing into my digestive tract really disappointed me.
And then...we were off. Off on the 2 hour drive to K's apartment where I was to chug down the shaman's brew.
The drive was really quite nice. After a few minutes we turned the music off and spent the time chatting and discussing the experience. Then, J encouraged the smoking of another tryptamine laden bowl. Who was I to refuse? This time, however, J joined me in partaking of the goodness.
There were some rather profound topics of discussion, I believe. We spoke of the fall of psychedelic culture into the hands of those who could care less about the big picture. We spoke of old times, when we were both too young to give a damn about the repercussions of our actions. We spoke of how absolutely bizarre the clouds and everything else outside the car looked. And there was much laughter at some of the most mundane things.
During our conversations, we got on the topic of reading up on harm reduction and educating one's self as to the steps from precursor to receptor activity of substances. The end of this conversation was me saying 'I keep learning a little bit here and a little bit there, but in the end, I'm just making myself an educated fool.' yet another profound statement at the time. Very profound still, I think.
The entire time we were in the car I was totally lost. I knew where I was as far as location was concerned. I knew the highway we were on. I knew where we were going. I knew the time of day. I knew I was in the back seat of K's car. But I could make no sense of where I actually was for the life of me. It's as if my mind could make no connection between me and my surroundings. Being lost in a familiar car's back seat is a highly confusing experience. But it was enjoyable. I was able to forget many of my daily cares and just enjoy the experience of having my brain fire in new and unusual ways.
We finally arrived at K's apartment. J showed me a couple cactii he was keeping there. They were really quite lovely. Of course, by that point in time, everything verdant was very appealing. I became rather enamored with some native plant that just seemed to me to be quite exotic in appearance.
Shortly after our arrival, I began drinking the ayahuasca. The brewing of ayahuasca is something I know very little about. I was informed that something I can't remember now was done to help with the taste. From what I could tell, there wasn't much improvement. And the amount of liquid was quite large. Suffice it to say that the taste was not exactly appealing. And the appearance didn't quite cause the taste buds to tingle in anticipation. Yet, I journeyed forth and managed to down over the next couple hours roughly half the dose.
About half an hour or so after the first few sips were taken, I started slipping into trances every few minutes. I had to forcibly shake myself from these to get even the simplest tasks completed. As more and more of these states came over me, they became more and more intense. They began with just slight patterning, and then only when looking at something that had the potential to hold a pattern. Looking at a plain white wall brought on nothing while looking at gravel, pavement, grass, and numerous other things slowly caused various geometric patterns to emerge.
The trance states were where the strongest visual distortions occured. No longer could I control the intensity and duration of my various visions. There were times where I could hear J and K speaking to me, yet it seemed as if I took an eternity to answer them or in fact never answered them at all. Walking was an experience in and of itself, as I was having to deal with the ever-shifting floor inside and ground outside.
Being that I couldn't smoke inside K's house, I ventured out quite often to indulge in my addiction. I kept looking over to the prayer garden behind the church next to K's apartment. I was informed eventually that my use of the garden was perfectly fine and that it was actually quite a nice place to spend one's time in this state.
And then it happened. I ran out of cigarettes. So, I asked if there was a nearby gas station or convenience store or whatnot. It just so happened that there was one only about a block away. And I was off. An offer was made by K to accompany me there or give me a ride in her car, but I refused the offer. Just the thought of being inside such a small space when I was taking up such a large amount myself was highly unappealing. I selected a cd, threw on my headphones, and I was off.
The walk was very brief, only 5 minutes there and another 5 back. A very simple task, really. However, dealing with the man behind the counter is a completely different story. It took everything I had to hold it together enough not to appear blatantly fucked. I think I pulled it off quite well.
During the walk back, I began to experience what I termed 'the quickening.' my entire body seemed to speed up. My pulse wasn't quite racing, but it was elevated. My steps came more rapidly and surely. The thoughts barreled through my head. I'm not entirely sure that this was just the effect of the mix of tryptamines or if it was also largely influenced by the music (a live mix by Klute in New Orleans). Either way, it was a highly exhilirating experience.
Once I got back to the apartment, I sought out pen and paper so that I could make notes and sketch whatever I felt the need to. Then I took my headphones and went to sit in the prayer garden of the church. It was dusk when I first entered the garden, and it was extremely serene. For some reason, even though the street was only about 100 feet away, I could hear no sounds from passing cars. About 10 minutes after I began wandering around the garden, the lighting came on and with it came a complete shift of space. Everything began to take on a surreal tinge. Whoever placed the lights in the garden must have been given some divine insight as to where to place each one to create a truly otherworldly effect. And then I felt it coming on. The purge.
I quickly made my way back to the apartment and informed J that I was going to be needing a towel and promptly shoved my head into the ready and waiting garbage can. The purge was highly liberating. With each heave, I could feel a huge weight being lifted from my body. I began seeing a very strong pattern behind my eyelids as I continued to push everything out into the can. I would later draw my purge vision on paper. Seeing and remembering it were easy. Deciphering it, however, is proving to be somewhat difficult.
The actual product of the purge was very strange, for being what it was. Its appearance reminded me of chunks of meat. It was very dry. And the whole purge was over with little over half a dozen heaves.
And then I was back in the garden. The first thing I did was sketch out the pattern of my purge. At first I thought that the colored portions, of which there were four, were the important part. But after looking and coloring in the black parts of the vision with the pen, I felt that it was the black dividers between the quadrants which took precedence. It appeared to be a horizontal sine wave with two peaks with a straight vertical line drawn right through the middle of it. Maybe it means nothing, maybe it means everything. I've had a few ideas about it, but I'm still unable to put my finger on exactly what it means.
I spent a while wandering around the garden. It was like being in a fairy garden. That's the simplest way to describe it. If any of you have played saga frontier and remember facinaturu, then you will have a good idea of what I saw. Faintly lit with well-placed soft lights, the garden was completely serene. As I wandered, I came across a stone section in the back of the garden. In the center was a rock which resembled a pair of praying hands (upon investigation the next day, the rock looked nothing like a pair of hands whatsoever).
There were two different yellow brick road-esque stone spirals radiating from the praying hands stones. One was very similar to the stone sidewalks found around many malls, with small pebbles being held in cement, while the other was more of a stone path type, with large, flat pieces of stone held in cement. I spent many minutes walking in and out of each of these spiraling paths.
Then I was back inside for a time. Another laced bowl was smoked, and another small amount of aya was drank. Shortly thereafter, I fell into an intense trance state. Everything in K's living room began to develop fractures. It looked as if everything were part of one giant picture I was staring at, much like an old painting which is in dire need of restoration. Then, suddenly, everything shattered. It was as if my entire field of vision underwent some sort of tectonic upheaval, with one shard jumping violently upward while another sunk sullenly down until it was replaced by an empty black spot. The upheaval was followed by a spiraling. Nothing looked like anything at all anymore. After that point, the complexities and alienness of the vision became too much for me and I just sat idle, drawn into this strange existence.
And then I felt it. Or maybe I felt nothing. I just felt as if I were being. I was doing nothing. I was causing no drain on the great mother. Everything was in perfect syncopation. I was. Nothing more, nothing less, I just was. It was an utterly amazing feeling, to know that my existence and everything it entailed was in perfect harmony with the existence of every other thing.
I know I haven't kept track of times in this report, but I feel the need to make it known that my concept of time was completely fucked. 5 seconds or 5 minutes or 5 hours, they all meant nothing to me. Being in a state of timelessness is yet another great feeling that I wish everyone could experience once in their life.
Eventually, J and K went to bed, leaving me to my own devices. I myself was starting to miss the girl I had been talking to for the past couple weeks, so I gave her a call. I remember this was around 3am only becausse I had to use a cell phone to make the call. We talked for hours, until finally my brain told me it was time for rest at around 9 am. Just the sound of her voice made me miss her all that much more, yet at the same time it helped to ease the problem of missing her. The majority of the time we spoke I spent telling her what was happening and what I was seeing, sharing my experience as best as I possibly could with her.
Somewhere in the middle of our conversation, I smoked the last bit of the 5 meo mipt, and began vocally reporting my visuals. At this time I was lying in the praying hands spiral in the garden, looking up through the treetops at the sky. Sometime while I was in K's apartment, the lights had shut off, and everything was quite dark. Looking at the sky, I could only see two stars through the trees. These two stars then multiplied into a vast number displayed across the bottoms of the trees' leaves, which were faintly visible as being a pale green color. Then the bottoms of the leaves began to change into clouds, and I was looking at a sky full of clouds intermingled with stars. Yet again the canopy changed, this time into flocks of large, white, alien birds. And then I was lying on a carousel looking up at its intricately carved ceiling. Then my vision was filled with angels and devils connected very similar to escher's angel/devil circle limit. And then I was in a strange fairy land castle with delicately shaped buttresses. And the canopy continued to change every so often into some new and intriguing design. All in all, it was really quite lovely.
I went back into the house, finished talking with my girl, and called to make preparations for my ride back home the next day. My brain felt like pudding. Not jello, but pudding. There was no solidity to it whatsoever. It was as if I could feel it sloshing around inside my cranium.
Sleep came easily, yet it was only for a few hours. Then J and K were awake and ready to head back to J's house. I felt totally rested after a mere 4 hours of sleep and had no hangover whatsoever. I was filled with a sense of serenity and silent happiness as we made the 2 hour drive back to J's.
Overall, I enjoyed the experience. It was completely inviting and there was not one point in time where I felt in danger or afraid whatsoever. The only thing that could've possibly made it better would have been having my girl with me.
I must say a very deep, heartfelt thanks to J. Without him, this would never have happened. And to K, for her hospitiality and putting up with my eccentricities and quirks. I love you both.
Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 35549 Gender: Male Age at time of experience: Not Given Published: Aug 1, 2004Views: Not Supported [ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Ayahuasca (8), 5-MeO-MIPT (287), Cannabis (1) : Various (28), Music Discussion (22), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), First Times (2) -->