Great Feeling to Terrible Night

DOSE: T+ 0:00 200 mg insufflated Modafinil (ground / crushed) T+ 5:00 200 mg oral Modafinil
T+ 9:00 150 mg oral Pharms - Trazodone

       BODY WEIGHT:
   190 lb
     

I have always been very interested in the limitless style smart drug known as �modafinil�. I had heard and seen many videos talking about the amazement this smart drug provides and have always been very interested in taking it to try to level up my life in all aspects. Since around 17-18 years of age I�ve experimented with cocaine, amphetamines, adderall, Ritalin, concerta, Vyvavnce and many other stimulant pharmaceutical drugs. I�ve always considered myself a stimulant user and only ever used Xanax or alcohol to counter the effects of these stimulants.

Around 10 years ago (2013-2014) I heard about modafinil. I tried my best to get my hands in the substance and spent countless hours researching and trying to obtain it. At the time I was not successful, and even had asked my doctor if she was willing to prescribe me it. She actually laughed at the idea and turned me away.

Fast forward 10 years to this year and I was actually prescribed vyvance but because of my abuse and use of it ( anywhere between 30 mg - 600 mg a day ) I decided it would not be in my best interest to fill it as I am a recovering addict who overdosed for the first time and almost died this past December.

This month I found a way to get my hands on the so called miracle drug modafinil as I had decided I was more or less done with all other legal and illegal stimulants.

I waited anxiously for it and when I got my hands on it was already 11 pm at night. As a user of stimulants I was very used to taking drugs all hours of the day and night and thought nothing of it. I researched about whether or not one should snort modafinil and within an hour of getting it the following happened :

T + 00:00 ( 11:00 pm)

I split the 200 mg pill in half, crushed it up and snorted it, to see how fast the effects would hit me. It tasted very sweet but was not as harsh as some of the information on forums said it would be. This is what I was going to do for the entire night but sadly as an addict I could not help myself.

T + 00:15 (11:15 pm)

Barely feeling any effects yet and reading more of the forums it said taking it orally would feel most of the effects and because I wanted to get some work done I decided to take the other split half ( 100 mg ) and take it orally.

T + 01:15 (12:15 am)

By this time the effects of modafinil were coming in through my stomach mostly. I was very excited as I waited in anticipation of how I would feel. I felt oddly aware of my surroundings and started to play some video games / watch tv.

T + 001:45 (12:45 am)

As the effects started kicking in more and more and the energy and excitement grew I started to clean , like in the limitless movie. The thought repeated over and over as was described to me in a short YouTube clip that the first thing Bradley cooper does in the limitless movie was to clean his surroundings. Which is exactly what I did. My room was a slight mess as I suffer from minor depression and had had a lack of energy the last few days. With vigour I did my laundry, organized and cleaned every surface in my room.

T + 03:45 (2:45 am)

With most of my basic chores done I wanted to make some music but found I didn�t quite want to just yet , so decided to keep playing video games and watch some tv as a little break between the tasks I was finally completing. Every 30-45 minutes or so I would go out for a cigarette to cool down and reassess.

T + 05:00 (4:00 am)

Even though I had things schedule for the afternoon on this day, my addict mind decided to take an another entire pill of modafinil ( 200 mg ) and swallowed it.

This is where things start going wrong.

Instead of the clear focus I had experiences and nice clean energy , I actually became quite tired still , as I had barely slept the last 1-2 days properly.

T + 06:00 (5:00 am)

At this point I was too tired to do anything but lie in bed and try to sleep, but was way to stimulated to even come close to having my brain shut off even for a second. This is the problem with wanting more of something and not respecting yourself. I had no energy or motivation to get out of bed as I was too tired and my eyes kept shutting on me because I was over tired but my brain was wide awake.

T + 08:00 (7:00 am)

I had become very anxious and felt terrible lying in bed but was too tired to get up and do anything. I spent 2 whole hours experiencing stomach pain and headache in this state. I just wanted the experience to end. I would randomly have comforting thoughts that would temporarily cause a small amount of euphoria and clarity but then would be shut down in a instant with more negative feelings and thoughts. The main thing I noticed was closed eye visuals. My brain mixed dream like creatures and experiences with insane repetition, the same thought repeating over and over and over again driving me crazy. As soon as I got even close to experience the temporary bliss of sleep I would be over encumbered with these horrific annoying thoughts that would not leave. Like I was dreaming but the same sequence played a 100 times over with no actual rest.

T + 09:00 (8:00 am)

By this time with no rest or sleep, a massive headache and very hungry, I decided to text my family member to tell her I wasn�t feeling well and would not be attending the activities for the day. She quickly texted back that it was okay and I felt great relief. I had debated for about an hour or two if I should take another 100-200 mg to get through the day but very happy I didn�t. I instead took 3 - 50 mg tabs of trazodone I had leftover from an old med cycle I don�t take anymore.

Within 20 minutes I was thankfully asleep as it is a mild anti-psychotic and sleep aid which was perfect for my increasing psychotic thoughts and urge to fall asleep quickly.

T + 16:45 (3:45 pm)

Woke up and felt much better. Ended up sleeping until 6 pm.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTARY :

All in all, I would recommend to anyone to NEVER take this medication at nighttime if you are already over tired and are looking to sleep even for 30 minutes at any time during the night. If I had actual shift work I had to attend to and did not have the ability to get some rest it would be different. This drug is stronger than many other stimulants as it�s main priority is to keep your brain awake. I will only ever be taking this medication in the morning when I first wake up, never ever again taking this at nighttime with the hope to sleep. Because of its 15 hours half life there is no hope but to stay awake yet exhausted lying in bed. This substance did make me feel great for a couple hours until I decided to take too much at the wrong time and ruined it for myself.

I will be attempting to take 1 x 200 mg modafinil tomorrow as soon as I wake up and seeing how I feel throughout the entire day. For now I�m going back to bed.

Exp Year: 2023ExpID: 117549 Gender: Male Age at time of experience: 29 Published: Nov 27, 2023Views: Not Supported [ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]

Modafinil (217) : Addiction & Habituation (10), First Times (2), Alone (16) -->