I could make this extremely long and maybe I will make a longer post someday but for now I'll keep it short and sweet. I first tried ketamine march 2018 and had a gram of it, fell in love and kholed and had an incredible ego death experience that you can find if you go in my profile enough. But i havent had it since then until this weekend. Over a year later.
I've been having a really hard time lately and last night I did lsd, went and saw jai wolf with friends, had an awesome trip and at 5 am 9 hours into my lsd trip I did 4 good bumps of ketamine. Holy shit with acid it synergizes so well. I was listening to the meaning of love by chrome sparks and i just felt the mask of depression, the weight, everything, slough off my shoulders and I began sobbing and truly FEELING and just letting out all this raw emotion that had been muted by depression.... Sobbed. At how beautiful the experience was. At how thankful I was to not be so fucking depressed with the snort of a chemical. And not fake... But truly feeling myself with a greater capacity for positive emotion. So much lighter.
I had done ket the night before as well and the antidepressant effects were also present and immediate, though not on the same level as last night. I'm on ket right now too.
I am going to work to stay happy. Or at least happier. And ket has given me the first step. I want to grow.... And I will. Thank you for reading.