Hi everyone,
so I just had my first mescaline experience last Saturday and I'm still gathering some thoughts about it and would like to share my trip report. I was wondering if you guys and gals think I had too strong of a dose.
This will be a wall of text, but maybe the preparation is also important for the whole thing.
Background:
I've experimented so far only with LSD in smaller doses, but wanted to have a real psychedelic experience and San Pedro was easily available where I live so I went for it. I'm 186cm / 83 kg.
Preparation:
I ordered a San Pedro (non PC, as confirmed by the San Pedro subreddit) of about 60 cm and took care of it for a couple of weeks while I researched the preparation methods. After I had done my research, I went for a combination of some that I had read online:
- Thanked the cactus and cut about 40 cm of the cactus and then cut again in four pieces
- Froze and thawed 3-4 times during the week before the final preparation
- Last Friday thawed for the last time and removed the waxy skin
- Cut everything into small pieces. It wasn't really possible to get all of the core out, since it was so mushy and felt like cutting through some fish
- Put everything into the blender
- Simmered about two cups of the water that had oozed out during thawing with 4 lemons and added some of that to the blender to mix it all together
- Added the whole mixture to a pot and cooked on low for 30 minutes
- Added the sludge to a slow cooker and added about 2 liters of water
- Cooked on low for 7 hours
- Strained the whole thing through a cheese cloth and cooked the remains for another half an hour
- Added the liquid from step 9 into the main liquid and reduced everything to about 400 ml
- Put it in the fridge and thanked the cactus again.
Personal preparation:
I fasted for about 24 hours prior taking the first gulp. I also meditated for about 1 hour and was in a pretty good mood and felt ready. Mostly I asked the cactus for guidance.
Set and setting:
Me and my best friend rented a car (he drove) and left at around 9:30 AM to the mountains nearby, a beautiful spot by the river, but not so far from the street. It was his first experience as a trip sitter, but I assumed that Mescaline was going to be a relatively easy substance, so I thought I shouldn't really prepare him much.
My mood was pretty good throughout the morning. It was a super nice autumn day, so I felt really ready.
Trip:
On the way to the mountains at around 11 AM I took a big first gulp, I'd say about 250 ml. The tea tasted bad, but not as bad as I thought. I chased it with some chocolate drink and kept everything in me.
At 11:30 AM we got to the spot, crossed the river to ensure we would be in a quieter spot and I broke my fast with some nuts and sweet potatoes. Right after I started feeling something, just a different kind of awareness. I then decided to drink the rest of it. The taste on the second time was much worse, even with some chocolate drink afterwards.
Right after I started feeling some nausea, but didn't puke throughout the whole trip.
I then kinda lost sense of time, but I believe that after another 30 minutes I was already seeing the clouds move and take shapes. Everything felt alive. A bee then landed on some Tahini I had brought and got some of it on its wings. It wasn't able to fly anymore and was cleaning itself. I felt so much compassion for this beautiful tiny being and wanted to help it so much, but I then thought that it would find a way to do it itself and let it go.
At this point the visions and colors were getting quite strong. All the trees were breathing and were alive. I kept telling my friend that and just saying "Wow..." This must've been after 90 minutes of the first gulp. I started also having CEV, many patterns and fractals, infinite colors, some of them like the icon on this subreddit. Rainbows crossed my whole vision and in some patterns I could identify Mayan symbols.
At this point I decided to listen to some music. I was somehow still able to get my headphones, turn on my cellphone and choose from the playlist I had prepared, consisting mostly of classic pieces. It started with Lark Ascending by Vaughan Williams. I could feel the violin at the beginning of the piece on my skin. It was wonderful.
I kept looking at my watch and realizing that only 1:30 hours had passed. I looked around me and everything felt so alive. I kept telling my friend that all we have is this moment, all else is so unimportant, all my intentions going into this experience seemed so irrelevant.
At one point I started sweating quite a lot and then we moved to a shaded spot. I lied down and started to get worried about my heart a bit, I kept asking my friend to check my heart rate. He kept assuring me everything was normal, but I could feel that it was racing a bit. At this point, which must've been after 2:30 hours since the first gulp, I started to lose my consciousness. I don't think it went all black, but I just can't remember where my consciousness was/or what I was seeing.
Every now and then I would get my consciousness back and then reminded myself I had a body. It felt so good putting my feet in the sand and I grabbed some and rubbed it all over my face. Then I would lie down and be gone again, coming back after some time. I saw a plane fly by and I could see it in the future/past as well, all three versions. Looking at the colorful trees was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The moving patterns on top of them reminded me of a Van Gogh painting.
At one point I started to get cold and then put my shoes back on and a jacket. I kept telling my friend how strong it all was, but also that it was exactly what I wanted. I had asked for this.
Once it started to get a bit darker at around 5:30 PM (6:30 hours since the first gulp), we decided to head back, since we still had to cross the river. On the other side of the river, before we crossed, I saw that there was an elderly friendly couple asking us how we wanted to cross. I just tell this because this elderly lady had such beautiful eyes and she looked just right through me and I almost felt like she could understand what was happening with me. She then told us "The world needs crazy people" after we had crossed the river walking through it. What she said stuck with me.
At this point my consciousness was still coming and going. If my friend asked me to do something, like close the doors / put in my address on the GPS, I came back, but then was gone again. It seemed to me that so much time had passed and I asked him if we were already home, but only 10 minutes had passed. There was a traffic jam and it felt like a super long ride. My consciousness kept coming and going.
After a while he stopped to get some water and left me in the car for maybe 5 minutes which felt like an eternity to me. I felt very alone and scared in this parking lot full of unknown people.
At this point (at around 6:30 PM), my consciousness was getting more constant but I was still tripping pretty hard. I then listened to Peacock Tail from Boards of Canada, maybe one of my favorite songs of all time and almost had to cry because of all the memories that I have listening to this song in the last 12 years of my life.
We finally arrived and left the rental car at the parking spot. Being back in the city felt very alien and hostile. It was dark and not a nice part of town. I was conscious but everything was quite hostile.
My friend walked me home and walking by neighboring buildings I was so amazed at how we live so close to so many people, but that I don't know any of them, everyone was so separated.
I got home at around 8:30 PM, said goodbye to my friend and got into my room. At this point I was still tripping, albeit not as hard. Patterns and colors were still there, but the main thing were the distortions of seeing my face in the mirror, showering and focusing strongly on some mold growing by the bathtub. My flatmate was also there and I could have a normal conversation but his body was kinda distorted (he looked much smaller than me, although we're almost the same height).
I then tried to get some sleep at around 9:30 PM, but that proved to be impossible. I then messaged my parents that I was ok (they knew about me going into this trip) and told them how much I loved them and that all the answers are so simple.
I kept rolling in bed and couldn't really sleep so I started to listen to music again. I make music myself and decided to listen to some of it. I could feel so deeply how I was trying to express my life story with the one piece I listened to. It felt so meaningful.
I still wasn't able to really sleep at around 1:30 AM so I just put some soothing hypnosis youtube video and tried to sleep. At this point I was pretty sure I had lost my mind, since it had been 13 hours since the beginning. This feeling also came to me during the peak. It seemed so impossible for me to think about going to work or making music again, it was simply unimaginable. I thought I was going to get crazy and only got back to it by telling myself to let go and reminding me that I wanted to have this experience.
At one point I did end up falling asleep and had quite a couple of very lucid dreams. I woke up at around 7 AM feeling tired but conscious and in an excellent mood.
Day after:
I was really hungry so I firstly made a big breakfast and started writing down what I remembered from the experience. I was (and am) very thankful for it, although I forgot a lot of what I saw. The smell of coffee (and other things) was so powerful and intense. I took my bike and went for a ride through the park, it all felt so new and beautiful.
I then just went to a coffee shop and wrote more about the experience and how thankful I was for it, although at times it was difficult. I really thought I had lost my mind.
I talked to my parents and had to cry talking about some parts of the trip.
Today:
Today I'm back to work and everything is ok, but I feel a bit lightheaded. I guess it's because I'm doing my weekly fast. Other than that I'm still trying to remember if there was anything else.
I also recorded some of the trip with a small recorder, so I still need to analyse that. I think I have about 5-6 hours of audio.
Has anyone of you had a similar experience? Do you think my dose was a bit too strong?
Thank you and love you all. Mescaline is a beautiful substance.