So my original plan was to lay in my bed with headphones on and my eyes closed. I ate the shrooms at about 9:00. It's important to note that I had eaten dinner earlier, so I was not eating them on an empty stomach.
Another mistake I made was I read too many trip reports of heroic doses and had much too many expectations on what was going to occur. Due to this, I was getting frustrated as the first hour passed and nothing much had happened. I was tripping, but nothing like I was expecting.
I let another hour pass and I began to feel very depressed. I couldn't focus enough to enter shroom hyperspace. I eventually gave up and said fuck it, I'll just enjoy the trip like a normal trip. So I started chilling and playing guitar and my mood improved immensely. I put on a Grateful Dead concert and the love and joy I felt was overwhelming. The visuals got so intense I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed. I could barely walk or even think for that matter and I was hysterically laughing the whole time. It was great.
At about the 3 hour mark, I was peaking. I knew I was ready to enter shroom hyperspace. I turned off the music and lights and laid in my bed. I focused on my breath and closed my eyes. A vast array of beautiful colors engulfed my entire being, and I got really excited. It went away as fast as it came. I was holding on to my ego and it was getting in the way.
I thought maybe I'm not ready for this... but no, I was determined to explore this dimension. I turned off my fan so there was complete silence, lit an incense, grabbed a candle and my pillow, and began meditating. Focus. Breathe in, breathe out. The visuals started turning into a four dimensional landscape full of colors and organic looking shapes and objects. Again my ego was getting in the way, and I said to myself "let go."
I never really fully grasped that term until that point. I let go. My thoughts subsided instantaneously, my mind disconnected from my body, and my soul entered another dimension. It was blissful. I felt like I was underwater, except the water was a constantly changing spectacle of indescribable colors. Every sound infinitely echoed into eternity. I soon found I could look around, and then even move. It felt like I was floating through the psychedelic cosmos. I had no ego, I was simply existence in a foreign land.
I have no idea how long I was in there but it felt like a lifetime. My desire to meet some entity kept creeping in and along with it, my ego. It was easy to just let go and simply be, but after awhile I was satisfied. I opened my eyes and returned back to my room. I felt so at peace, like when you just finished meditating but tenfold. I finally learned what it meant to just be, to simply exist.
I really wanted to go for a walk but didn't want to sneak out so I decided I'd go on my roof. This of course was a dumb idea considering I could barely walk. But I really wanted to be outside, so I approached my window. This is when the most profound part of my experience happened. I blew out my candle and my room was only illuminated by the moonlight seeping in through the window. My room looked unrecognizable. Crawling tentacles and snake-like forms covered everything, and I felt an eerie presence. To the left of my window, I saw a figure.
It was mostly the blackest of black, but its head was covered with what looked like white faces screaming, morphing and moving all over its head. At first I was frightened and then looked away. I sat on my bed and let go of my fear, and looked it straight in the face. We didn't communicate using words, it was more like it was putting thoughts into my head. It asked "Why are you here?"
Why was I here? I couldn't answer it. Then it told me "The question is the answer." I then began to have flashbacks of past moments where I had acted recklessly. The figure was right in front of me. "You are a mere child, why do you live so dangerously?" it asked. Again I could not answer. After a long silence, it said "Pray you do not see me again, for it may be your last." With this its form dissipated into the air, and I was left alone with my thoughts.
I learned many things from this experience. I learned I need to live more simply and cautiously, and to stop putting myself and others in danger from making stupid decisions. I also learned patience is key. And finally, I learned how to let go. If something is bothering me, I can simply let go and cease to think about it.