DOSE:
25 mg
oral
Caffeine
(liquid)
BODY WEIGHT:
155 lb
I've used psychedelics a bit in the past 5 years of my life. I would estimate I have had about 20 experiences in that time. I have had some mild flashbacks, usually involving an extreme feeling of d�j� vu (much more intense than usual d�j� vu) that feels like some psychedelic experience I've had before. I believe that at the time of the initial psychedelic experience I actually had some sort of premonition of the time where the d�j� vu happens.
I've also had quite a few dreams which were very psychedelic. In some of these dreams I would actually dream I was taking a psychoactive and then the psychedelic experience would commence. However I have had other dreams where there was no obvious trigger for the psychedelic experience. Usually these dreams (the latter with no trigger) are very frightening and the psychedelic experience is extremely intense and comes on suddenly.
Anyway two nights ago I drank one cola soda (8 ounces) before going to sleep. A friend of mine told me he found caffeine to intensify his dreams and would drink caffeinated sodas before sleep. I tried this a few times but usually can't sleep under the influence of the caffeine. For some reason this night I had no trouble falling asleep, I felt pretty sleepy even after drinking it. I remember wondering if it would keep me up, but I tried sleeping anyway because I was tired and fell right asleep. Maybe it was easy to fall asleep this time because I spent little time between consuming the beverage and going to bed.
I certainly experienced more intense, vivid dreams that night. The dream recall did not seem particularly increased, until a certain part in the dream where I started to feel like I was tripping. The dream slowly became more and more psychedelic, and I noticed it after a while. I think perhaps the intensity of the dreams helped bring on the psychedelic experience, but I don't remember how intense the dreams were before the psychedelic feelings started. The intensity of the dreams definitely increased my ability to recall them.
The psychedelic feelings started slowly and suddenly exploded. In the dream I remember doing some normal random dream things. At some point I was in a girls' locker room, I think, very excited by being surrounded by naked women. During this part of the dream I noticed that my feelings were more intense than normal every day life and I realized that I was feeling something psychedelic. Some of the feelings I had at this point were a swaying sort of feeling within my soul and things starting to look like they were melting, flowing and swaying. These feelings made me feel more excited, because I enjoy psychedelic experiences and they are exciting even when I don't enjoy them. The scene transitioned to a mens' locker room and my friend who I have used drugs most with in the recent past was there with me and I told him something like 'Dude, I'm totally starting to trip!' and he replied 'That's awesome, man.'
The scene transitioned again, as dreams are wont to do, and the next environment I found myself in was a neighborhood. I was running and jumping, generally excited. Suddenly I leaped into the air and started flying. I flew up over a building in some arch and my movement slowed more and more as I went. A flock of white birds flew out of a tree below me and the flock was flying right by me. As I turned my attention towards them everything slowed down to a crawl and I had the familiar feeling of time stretching into eternity. The colors were exceptionally vivid and everything was incredibly sharp looking. There was so much detail in everything I was seeing that I couldn't believe it. I thought to myself staring at these birds frozen mid flight 'That is the weirdest thing I have ever seen!' Initially I was struck by the intense beauty and detail in the birds but the feeling grew strange very quickly. In an instant I want from a feeling of intense euphoria and wonder to feelings of horror and disgust. As time froze I had a feeling that my most intense psychedelic experiences all had of stretching into eternity and ego loss. I was acutely aware of a feeling of the bones in my fingers crushing and grinding as my fingers seemed to twist into horribly disfigured shapes. In my mind the single thought that what I was experiencing was the last thing I would ever want to experience and that it would never end. I felt as though I was dying and being reintegrated into the chaos of the universe.
My head turned very slowly from the birds, tearing myself away from it from the fear that the excessively intense detail and identification of the scene created to the point that I felt like I was the birds and myself and everything else at the same time, and I saw a gigantic brick wall that I seemed to be crashing into instantaneously and forever at the same time. My inner monologue had turned into a scream that was slowed to the pitch of a low rumble as it stretched into the eternity. Everything (mainly my sense of feeling) seemed to be swirling around a drain that it was being sucked into like a black hole. Suddenly the terrible feelings in my hands transformed into something else. My desperate need to escape was actualized and I found myself starting as from a nightmare, my heart was racing and I was horrified by what I had just experienced and relieved that it was over.
The new feeling in my hand was that of my previously mentioned friend's dog whom I have developed a close relationship with and have a lot of affection for. She was licking my hand as if she was trying to wake me, and I figured I must have been screaming from the nightmare I was having and this had scared her. I started to pet her and told her I was having a bad dream and how grateful I was she woke me from it. I started to say her name 'Oh Nala, oh Nala, oh Nala' expressing my relief and gratitude towards her. Suddenly my voice started warping in a terrible way, becoming very low and stretched out again, and I realized that I was still tripping, and felt as if I was sliding back into my previous state of mind. Nala became frightened by this and started to run from me, but as I saw her running I became even more frightened realizing what was happening and holding on to her as the only thing keeping me sane. I pulled myself away from the feeling of slipping back into eternity and with the same motion pulled myself right awake (for real this time).
I sat in my bed panting my heart racing and was afraid to fall asleep again. It was almost time for me to go to school so I just stayed awake, but the dream was more vivid than anything I have experienced for a while and was very frightening. It has gotten me thinking about psychedelics again. Many times when I feel psychedelic feelings in dreams they are like the ones I expressed here, like my mind is slipping away from me and I am going to be lost forever (which was something I experienced on psychedelics a few times). I also seem to have a feeling like something is chasing me, but it does not exist physically, and like something is grabbing at my mind and taking it from me.
I think part of the reason that Nala appeared to save me in this dream is one time when I used dextromethorphan while I was house sitting for my friend's family, a man came to the house and tried to convince me to let him inside. He knew that I was house sitting and that I was all alone and was trying to take advantage of this fact. I initially believed his lies that he was a friend of the family and was almost prepared to let him inside the house, however I got the feeling that there was something not right about him and locked him out of the house at the last moment. When I called the police the way they reacted made it seem like I was not the only person to call them reporting this man that night. At any rate Nala barking as the man approached the house warned me that someone was coming and I actually met him in the drive way out front of the house rather than at the door and I was able to run back to the door and slam it shut before he could get there, whereas if I had met him at the door I fear he would have forced his way inside. I think because I had been using dextromethorphan that day and because I felt that Nala saved me I subconsciously associate Nala with psychedelics as a saving force.
In my dream I thought she was secretly an angel that had taken on the form of a dog to protect me. I have had similar experiences on psychedelics thinking people were secretly shamans, doctors, or angels who for some reason had taken on disguised human forms to be in my life at times when I needed them. Also in my other psychedelic dreams I have had false awakenings where I feel like I have woken in my bed and that the horror has been averted only to suddenly have it take hold of me again. This was the first time where a psychedelic dream seemed to be brought on by caffeine or any substance for that matter, although caffeine or other substances may have played a role in the past that I was not aware of.
Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 69267 Gender: Male Age at time of experience: Not Given Published: Jun 26, 2013Views: Not Supported [ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
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