DOSE:
30 mg
oral
Amphetamines
(pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT:
151 lb
As a little background information I am currently in my junior year of High School and am a Full IB Diploma Canidate and at the top of my class. Now with IB we are given easily 6 hours of homework a night, trying to suceed at homework when I don't get home until 6 while maintaining a job (6-midnight usually) it become extremely difficult to fit it in at all even with the inability to sleep. And that led to my purchase of Adderall.
Now, I'm not stupid, I did my homework on Adderall before taking it, finding out everything I could. After all, I do plan on majoring in BioChemistry. It took me a while before I could find a hook-up to my great surprise. But eventually, I found someone with Severe ADHD that I had known prior and whom was prescribed 3 30mg XR adderall daily and he only took 2 per day. I bought a few off of him but only received one at the first purchase as he forgot the others. Later on in the day I realized this capsule was becoming sticky and I decided I should take it now (around noon). Within a half hour to and hour everything shifted just slightly. The entire room seemed to be brighter than usual. Everything seemed so much more vibrant and alive than it usually would and I really enjoyed the feeling I was having.
Now I head to last period, and hour and a half of IB Theatre then followed by a 3 hour Rehearsal. By the time class has started and gotten underway fairly well I began to really feel the stimulant effects. My mind began racing. I felt as if it was capable of anything and had somehow been placed upon a higher level. That is the only way I can really describe it. Things would make sense.
Soon after I began feeling another odd sensation that I don't beleive I have ever experienced prior. My body was physically tired (I hadn't slept much the few nights prior either nor eaten in 2 days) and I seemed exhausted, however my brain wasn't tired in the least. In fact it was reminescent of the state my brain goes into once an epiphany occurs. The thoughts came so quickly and so naturally that I was on a higher level. During Improv Games I was a God. I would be able to create the most brilliant and hillarious skits off of the top of my head and all around everything was making so much more sense than usual. I also continually checked my pulse throughout the day and I realized it was generally lower than normal.
[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
About 4:30-5:00ish I began experiencing a headache. I'm not sure if this was from stress or from coming down, but it wasn't too severe so I payed it no mind. Driving home around 5:00 was quite fun however. I had forgotten that I was supposed to be driving on the right hand side of the road because my brain was too busy contemplating other issues to even concentrate on driving. Luckily, I figured out how to drive again and made it home safely.
The entire time I'm home (the rest of the night) I can't stop speaking a million words per minute and my thoughts no longer become coherent to everyone else. I love the state I am in, however in retrospect I think it was actually just the beggining of coming down, and I love being able to concentrate so little and still grasping everything, as if it wasn't required for me to pay attention to anything and still understand it all. The only negative I experienced during this phase was strong cotton mouth and my mouth tasted horribly.
At about 9 o'clock (I finally escape the 3 hour phone conversation I had just had) I decide I'll get online and do some homework and chat with friends and what not, despite it is a Friday night. Nothing seemed to change too much here. I had a few wonderful conversations (and a few deep ones) and one that I was coming up with the most pure and beautiful of thoughts I had ever heard before. I was truly amazing myself and I felt euphoric.
12:00 My Girlfriend of 8 months calls me and can tell I'm obviously inebrieated and flat out tells me I have to choose between her or drugs. I start questioning my own psychological mindset here, I could LITERALLY hear a voice in my head telling me that I didn't need her. She was taking away what happiness I had etc. and I began to become worried. However I did choose her and this will be the last drug I ever take recreationally. I even promised to never take another OTC med again, ever. I'm not certain if the paranoia and possible psychosis where drug-related or not but I am going to assume so.
1:00 AM Cotton mouth is still in effect and I can't sleep nor eat. It's not even so much the fact that I don't want to, it's me not wanting to to the extent of not being able to. I felt as if even if I where to grab something to eat, despite complete lack of desire, I wouldn't be able to actually eat it, that I was too full as it was. I begin really losing coherency here. Everyone I am talking to has the idea that I must be drunk because of the mistypings and misuse of words, like where and were confused and there and their confused etc. and I would tell a 5 minute story over the period of an hour due to all of the tangents I would go off on. I still loved the feeling and never wanted it to end.
5:00 AM None of my friends are any longer awake and I have nothing to do but sit and worry about what I could be doing with my time. I then take a yawn and realize that finally, 15 hours later, I might be able to catch some sleep. I go to the restroom and in the mirror I shock myself by the look on my face. I see so much wear that was never there before. For some reason I open my mouth as wide as I can with my hands and I realize I am human. Although this may seem odd, I finally understood that I am nothing more than the bones, flesh, and skin that I saw right then. Only to be awoken at the hour of 6:30 AM from inability to sleep but still completely full of stamina and energy. Things really go downhill from here.
Between 10:00 AM and 1:00 PM I begin to have a literal break-down. Everything in my life is going wrong and I can't do anything to stop it. I just want to feel happy again. I can't take another Adderall because of the promise I had made and I felt like literally dying, not that I was going to, but that it would be nice to die, and I knew I couldn't. On this note I should mention I am always easy-going and generally pleasant and have never gone through serious depression before nor suicidal thoughts and therefore it must have been drug-related. Loads of paranoia. Loads and loads of stress and feelings of failure at life.
3:00 PM This is where I am now. I am just now writing this experience and I am JUST now starting to feel somewhat normal again and have an inkling of an appetite despite lack of food for the past 100+ hours.
Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 47681 Gender: Male Age at time of experience: Not Given Published: Jan 31, 2008Views: Not Supported [ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
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