DOSE:
1 hit
smoked
DMT
BODY WEIGHT:
250 lb
A little background on myself:
Although I have a very conservative Christian background, I abandoned religion in all its forms about ten years ago, choosing to live free of confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance by fully examining every belief and every claim I was presented with, and not forming beliefs until I felt there was sufficient reason for it. Since I was still involved with religion, however, I began expanding my mind mainly using LSD and mushrooms (I have tripped on LSD something like 20 times and on mushrooms about the same).
Mushrooms stopped being enjoyable for me, most likely due to the fact that I descended into a very sedentery lifestyle, ate awful food, got fat, and started smoking cigarettes. They also reminded me that this lifestyle is horrific and disturbing in a very visceral way, and prompted me to change my lifestyle - that's another story, but I bring this up to say that one of the things I was worried about with DMT was that it would treat me the same way - the imagined mutilation and self-devouring themes of my last mushroom trip were NOT something I was interested in repeating or amplifying in any way.
This is all fairly pertinent background information. Now onto the trip:
I had heard many things about DMT and watched many videos on the topic as well as 'The Spirit Molecule' documentary. Finally I was introduced to a person who is in the know, who is not an amateur, who came to represent to me the very essence of professional chemistry competence - think a humble, very smart, visibly dangerous, but down to earth and kind shaman version of 'Heisenberg.' Heisenberg the Shaman. This guy had the best of the best, and I came to trust him implicitly. So when he said he had the best DMT possible, I was ready to make the trip - several hours from where I live. I took with me my friend, who is a recovering alcoholic and was in the middle of one solid year with no drug use whatsoever. This, however, was different; this was not a 'drug experience' but a portal into the realization of Truth Itself - perhaps that was just the justification we used, but I at least believed that.
There was a designated 'blast-off chair' that we took turns sitting in. It was me, my friend (A), this 'Shaman' guy (B), the guy who owned the space we were in (C), and several other folks who did not care to join in. We sat in a circle, talking, with the music on. 'C' urged us all to wear a blindfold and keep our eyes closed, as this would amplify the intensity of the visuals. Ideally, he said, music would be off and people wouldn't be talking - it should be done in the dark and in silence. It wasn't ideal by his standards, but he was sure we would be fine as we were seasoned trippers.
We were using a large vaporizer pipe with a 'blowtorch' lighter. All was prepared expertly by B, who held and lit the pipe for us. 'A' went first, taking a large rip and holding it in as long as possible. His eyes remained wide for a few moments, and then seemed to close involuntarily. We all watched as he settled into the chair and remained there as if in a trance, motionless. We all chatted amiably about this and that until about fifteen minutes later, when we noticed he was laughing out loud, his eyes still closed. He chuckled to himself for a while, then it tapered off into another minute of silence. He opened his eyes and just said, 'Man.'
My turn came and I was visibly nervous. I am very interested in truth, as I said before; this must be what it feels like to live your whole life wanting to meet a celebrity, at the moment you open your mouth to say 'hi' to them. My mouth was dry. I needed water. No water, he said. Not until after. I asked for the blindfold, put it on.
They warned me the taste was awful but I should hold it in. One hit the first time. I inhaled as big as I could and held it. The taste was bad, but not as god-awful as they suggested. 'Oh,' that's a big one, jeez,' I heard somebody say - just as a feeling of welling up started taking me over. I had no choice but to close my eyes. The feeling growing inside me was extreme, more extreme, and then beyond extreme - ultimate. There was no word for the strangeness and foreign-ness of this feeling. The feeling growing inside me was extreme, more extreme, and then beyond extreme - ultimate. There was no word for the strangeness and foreign-ness of this feeling.