Sunday, April 8th, 2018
I went a bit off the deep end with this one. This report was written under the pretense that what I experienced is valid and contains some sort of metaphysical meaning. It is more enjoyable to write that way. I remain skeptical but humored. …. If Sally (the subject of my previous report if you care to read) and the experience which she wrought represented a love transcendent of the physical plane, my trip tonight was the equivalent in terms of humor. Whatever the meaning of life, the universe, consciousness or what have you may be, I can only tell you this; it is side-splittingly hilarious! Unfortunately, the rest was lost in translation. All I was able to return with were the giggles such a wit invokes.
The setup to my joke was this; Alone in my room, lights dimmed and earplugs donned, I prepared for the first toke from my vaporizer. Around 45mg. I sat upright and cross legged. Having meditated beforehand, my mind was as placid as one might suspect in this sort of situation.
As I began pulling the vaporized crystal from the pen, something began to pull me out of my skin. My vision rapidly began to assume the impression of concentric circles, somehow incorporating the visual stimulus of my room, which was quickly becoming unrecognizable. I got the usual sense that all of the air had left the room. A deeply holistic, reverberating vibration reminiscent of that emitted by a tibetan singing bowl filled the void left in its wake. I felt weightless, both physically and mentally and was not quite sure what to do next. Some part of me lifted the vaporizer to my lips for a second toke, the details of which I do not recall in the slightest. I suppose that I laid back and closed my eyes.
The portion of the following experience which I would characterize as a breakthrough would be impossible to explain in a chronological manner. It was eternal but may as well have taken place within the span of a single plank unit, as those of you who are familiar with just how deep a second can be will understand. Therefore, I am forced to resort to the sort of description Vonnegut’s Tralfamadorians might employ. Time experienced not linearly as one listens to music but in the same way in which a painting is consumed an observer.
I met an entity that was visually reminiscent of Louis Wain’s more far-out depictions of the feline organism. The ones in which the presence of the cat in question is questionable. I will continue in my habit of personifying hallucinogenic entities and refer to this being as Louis from this point onward.
Confronting Louis was not unlike the penultimate scene of Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark, if I may utilize a touch of pop-culture to further my description. The one in which the Nazi’s faces are melted off of their skulls. I experienced that sort of thing in its noncorporeal equivalence. Louis radiated the essence of biblical wrath and omnipotence but considering that he was an entity evolved far beyond the limits of morality, I did not really mind.
To continue along the lines of my Old Testament allusion, Louis was The Word. The thing in and of itself. Louis was made of pure information, mind, matter; there was nothing which Louis did not hold in his fractalline form. I suppose Louis spoke himself and thus the world into existence, holding the unique distinction of being both the setup and the punchline of himself. I do not quite understand how that sort of thing works.
Visually, Louis was quite colorful, the composite of many sharp crystalline components, perfect in their symmetry. He was art. An extra-dimensional stained glass window. More importantly, Louis was a being of pure information, transcending any sort of spoken tongue which is something I cannot describe in visual terms. Considering that Louis was the information which he communicated and keeping in mind the abundance of said information (all the information in existence really), you can see why I was unable to get a word in edgewise. Louis did and was most of the speaking.
Whatever joke Louis told me must have been a doozy because all attempts to recall this portion of my journey drive me to hysterics. The Joke was much too big for my head and poured out of my oral cavity and into the vessel of laughter. Worse things have happened.
After Louis left me, I suppose I began to come down, though things were still quite indistinct at this point. Of external sensory input, my lungs returned to me first. Each breath nourished me as air gradually returned to fill the vacuum that had been my room. It felt good, erogenous even, to fill my body with air.
I got the sense of being surrounded by blurry entities of some medical authority. They seemed to be at the task of supervising my safe return to physical form and did a commendable job of it. They seemed pleased upon my arrival and celebrated in a simple manner. Their presence was taken for granted as I figured at the time that they had been present long before I’d so much as loaded the spice. However, it was no great surprise when I had sobered enough to understand that I had been alone in my room the entire duration of the experience. I stepped back into myself and all that comes with being myself, running my hands along my body, squeezing my loose skin, sucking on my digits, pulling at my face and most importantly; laughing.
Laughter felt the truest, most honest expression of what I had undergone. Both the joke and the punchline had slipped through my fingers and I was left only with the accompanying mirth.
For the five or so minutes I shook with laughter, I wondered whether I had broken myself, stared into the sun a tad too long. I could not stop. I now have a sense of what is meant when I hear talk of the cosmic joke. Perhaps that is what drives some towards lunacy. Luckily my brush was temporary!
Thank you for the laughs, Louis.
And thank you for reading, reader. Have a beautiful day or evening.