Death is only a transfer. One form, one vessel, one dimension, to another. There is no beginning, and there is no end. I finally truly understand, for the first time in my life. A truth I could never have known without the benefit of first experiencing death. That life is a wondrous, beautiful, colorful, magical accident. To be here, alive with consciousness, is an ineffable, dizzying, circumstantial twist of dimensional fate.
The day I died began as any other, and ended like no other....
As this world began to fade away, my eyes gently began to glaze. The room around me began to peel, the furniture began to reveal its true molecular form, its particles rising to the ceiling as one, like an orchestral crescendo.
And just like that, I was no longer in this world, I could no longer feel my physical body. I became pure energy. I could feel and see energy vibrating everywhere, rising from every object as if it were a whispery billow of smoke. Everything was represented by color, not form. The stage became serpent, slithery, and filled with indescribable pulsating luminance.
Suddenly, everything in my field of vision flashed white. I was inhabiting a blank canvas, but it was also full of unspoken meaning and spirit. I could hear thousands of low frequency murmurings, the same way a large crowd sounds in muted anticipation of a main event. I could feel nothing but purity and unconditional love. Real unconditional love, far greater and deeper than we are capable of experiencing as human beings. I was being embraced.
This place I found myself in... It was its own space, it’s own dimension. When I entered, I completely forgot who I was, what I was. I had no memory of the life I’d lived, or my physical body. I was only pure essence, existing in a dimension where only energy and the highest of consciousness can live. It was equal parts scary, and stunningly perfect. It was terrifying to leave my body, my memories, my humanity behind. However, the ability to let go remains the most liberatingly beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced.
As the life that I once knew drifted away, like a dandelion floret on a soft zephyr, I realized how much unnecessary baggage and emotion I had carried in my life, and how much it had held me back from not only being happy, but from maximizing my potential.
Imagine walking a hiking trail, and every hundred meters we add a 10kg weight to our backpack. After a kilometer, you may still be able to hike the path, but you are strained, twisted and bitter. At this point, you are no longer enjoying the hike. You are not witnessing the beauty of nature unfolding around you... This is what I was shown. What I felt.
As quickly as I had been catapulted into the white dimension, I found myself hurtling down a tunnel towards another. The walls of this tunnel were inscribed with various forms of language and symbolism. Some of it appeared to be hieroglyphics, but I had absolutely no point of reference to compare it to. What I did know was that it was ancient, it carried great wisdom, and it seemed of the utmost importance. It showed our past. Our evolution. Our achievements.
As I finished gliding through this tunnel of human knowledge and history, I landed in a room without walls, a room that seemed infinite. Unlike the previous dimension, which seemed like some kind of waiting area for souls, the background was black rather than white. Very slowly and deliberately manifesting in the distance of this dimension, was a magnetic, captivating, shape-shifting creature. It moved towards me with a sense of purpose. Its movements were like water, a continuous slithery unfolding of shapes and color... Colors that have yet to be invented, or even imagined. These shapes and colors would evolve and retract, twist and turn, sway and recede. It almost looked like a tumbling, kaleidoscopic octopus. The more I watched the random, rolling movements of this entity, the more rhythm and patterned consistency it displayed. It was like a machine... An organic machine. It was very interested in me. It was curious. It knew me. I could sense its familiarity with me. And somehow, I knew it too. It was inviting me into the dimension, and I found myself deeply wanting to go there.
The thing that struck me most about this creature was it’s dignity. It’s aura. It’s self-awareness. It’s power. It’s majesty. It absolutely radiated with energy. Just being in its presence inspired awe. Inspired love. That incomparable level of unconditional love I spoke of earlier. You could feel it’s importance. You could feel it’s intelligence. Without directly communicating with me through language, it was telepathically sending me an undeniable message that it was indeed the center. The source. The beginning of everything we have ever known. I believe to my core that I was in the company of God... It left me with no doubt.
Just as I began to surrender myself to this entity, to God, the darkness in this space transformed to a faded shade of purple. The purple then faded to pink, as did The Source. It slowly moved away from me, in the reverse pattern from which it had approached. It was all disappearing before my eyes. I tried desperately to focus all of my thoughts and energy, in a last ditch effort to stay there. It was all to no avail. The faded, foggy pink lifted to reveal a washed version of the original, Earthly room from which my journey began.
Innately, I knew I wasn’t all the way back. I felt trapped between two worlds, but I could feel my body, I could control my motor functions. I felt human once again. I looked around the room, everything around my field of vision took on a greenish hue, particularly around the edges. Then, on the left side of my vision, I saw a shape rise. It started out as a small ball of dark matter, then grew taller and more oval in shape. It then raised even further, and a head began to form. It became abundantly clear that it was a man. I knew instantly who this man was. I smiled and thanked my late Father for being with me.
“I miss you terribly, every single day. It’s not getting easier.”
My eyes filled with tears, and a lightning bolt of blues, greens and pinks went shooting across my field of vision. I was filled with a sensation of love and security. My hair tingled, in exactly the place his fingers used to stroke my head when I was a child. When we shared the same world. It was all the reassurance I needed. It would all be ok. Anytime I like, I could channel his spirit, and he would be there. I would be there. We would all be there. It all makes such beautiful sense.....
I’m still unsure how to categorize this experience. After such an ethereal, mystical journey one would think I would approach my life with new purpose and vigor. However, I’ve struggled mightily with my reintegration to humanity. I suppose in a way that I’m grieving for the loss of my innocence, my former life. In retrospect it seemed so simple.
I’m trying to work through it all, on a daily basis, but it’s so confusing. In some ways, the other side is so much more pure, beautiful, serene and egalitarian than this world. There is no pain, there is no regret. There is no suffering. There is no greed or materialism. There is only love, acceptance and freedom. However, I have my wife and children in this world, and an existence without them could never be worth even the highest of spiritual ascents.
I’m finding that I feel extremely isolated since my return. Misunderstood. The things in my life that used to drive me, excite me, no longer have the same depth of meaning. Conversely, I feel like the things that currently drive humanity forward are the same things that destroy us. Money. Technology. Politics. Career. Secrets. War.
This feeling of alienation will pass, I have faith in that. I guess I just need time to process things. My biggest takeaway is that life is our spiritual gift from the Universe to further our journey of learning. To give us the spiritual lessons we need to reach our ultimate enlightenment. Everything we see, touch, taste and experience... Every single person we love, loathe and interact with... This Earth, everyone, and everything... It’s all here for us. This world, our lives, will give us exactly what we need.