Here’s a (somewhat poorly written) trip report for you. The experience has left me a tad derealized and depersonalized, so forgive me for poor grammar or shoddy descriptions. I'm still trying to recover the memories.
TLDR: Extremely intense comeup, complete ego death, then dissociation and memory loss. Stripped naked, came to pacing around very frustrated by a thought loop. Never dosing this high again, and never taking DPT without a sitter again. Insane shit.
-00:00:30 My research partner and I weighed out two 125mg piles of DPT HCl, and broke each pile up into four long, thin lines.
00:00:00 We each snorted all four of our lines in rapid succession, as we have both found from previous experience that DPT can clog your nose up rather quickly.
I had a swift and extremely challenging comeup.
By 00:00:45, I had visuals. DPT has a unique visual effect where edges blur. I cannot describe exactly how they blur. The edges you know and love cease to be edges anymore. It’s weird. I got this effect very quickly.
00:02:00-00:05:00 After about two minutes, some geometry was becoming visible. It was reminiscent of stereotypical DMT geometry, but the shapes were much smoother, more curvy. They were also undulating an a way I cannot describe. I could see the same pattern with both open and closed eyes.
Things got quite challenging between 00:05:00 and 00:15:00. The comeup was extremely swift, and the intensity increased exponentially with each passing second. My body was overcome by sensations of orgasmic pleasure, and I felt like I was stuck in place. The body load was extremely powerful and extremely pleasurable.
Both my partner and I were slurring our words. I was having lots of trouble figuring out how to put syllables together.
00:06:00 I began to feel very warm, and expressed this sloppily to my friend, who told me the thermostat was outside the room we were in on the wall to the right. I got up, lumbered over to the door, and stepped out. I was standing outside the door facing into the room looking for the thermostat. My research partner told me that it would be on the right. I was facing the door, so did he mean my right, or his right? And if the former, how the hell do I extrapolate and figure out what his right is?
00:06:40 I just said “fuck it, whatever, I can’t figure out left and right”. I went back into the room and laid down on the couch next to my research partner. He was breathing very heavily, and laughing like a maniac. He was experiencing extreme bliss, and later remarked that he had encountered a female entity at this point. I however, was terrified. I was not ready to cross the precipice I was being pushed across.
00:07:00 I was listening to a Peruvian Icaros (the chant performed by the Shaman during an Ayahuasca ceremony), but did not like the vibe it gave off. I tried to put on something, anything with a pleasant melody. I put on some Frank Ocean, but even that was scaring me. I eventually just took my headphones off and closed my laptop.
00:09:00 I was also uncoordinated, and didn’t want to hit my head, so I tried to refrain from moving around much. My partner was completely immersed in a full breakthrough experience. I kept repeating the same general set of movements. Lean back into the couch, lay on my right side, lay on my left side, grab my blanket and lay on the carpet, roll onto each side on the carpet, roll onto my stomach and hug my wadded up blanket, climb back up onto the couch, call out to my research partner, take his headphones off and get some reassurance, and repeat. I was trying to find physical comfort in a vain attempt to offset the tremendous fear I felt.
00:12:00 I felt like I was being pulled over the edge of a waterfall. I wanted out, and I was scared. I cried for help a number of times, but soon realized it was futile. I was going to be here for a while, and no one else could do shit-all to comfort me in this moment. I had to accept it and go. I was able to relinquish some control, but ultimately, I was still holding on too tightly to enter another realm like he had. I left the room my research partner was in and crawled/walked over to another empty room with a very soft carpet. I managed to get my jeans and socks off (they had grown quite uncomfortable), and laid down on the floor.
00:20:00 It is at this point I reached a state I believe to be ego death. Total oneness with everything. Time stopped. This was an orgasm of the soul. Birth and death. There are no words to describe how profoundly impactful this experience was. I can barely recall it, unfortunately. I dissociated because of the intensity. As a result, memory gets very spotty after this point. I can recall the general timeline, but my memories of the the headspace during this period are iffy. Some are intact, but they are arranged in a weird way that makes recollection difficult.
00:30:00-02:30:00 I was rolling around on the carpet in deep, egoless bliss. My research partner was up and around at this point, and says I would periodically say things about death, birth, life, and ‘it’, our term for the unique feeling of oneness we each get from DPT. I got looped very hard during this, going around and around the wheel of birth and death in my mind, trying to grapple with whatever I was feeling. I vaguely recall feeling stuck, but not much more than that. I know I was looped and extremely frustrated by the involuntary repetition of thought, but not much more. I can’t recall what I was experiencing, only that it was extremely powerful, and extremely challenging.
Update: friend says I stripped naked and was pacing frustratedly, repeating couplets of metaphysical opposites reminiscent of the Yin and the Yang, such as "life and death". No shit flinging or destruction, though, thankfully.
02:45:00 Eventually, things began to settle out, and I regained some coherence. This was around the three hour mark. I spent two and a half hours at peak. It felt like a lifetime. I yanked my jeans up and slipped my socks on. I was depersonalized and derealized. The whole scene felt dreamlike. I felt like a passive observer. We played a game of pool, got snacks, chatted for a while, and then I went home.
21:00:00 I'm tired and spaced today. I blocked out the height of the experience because of the intensity, unfortunately. Writing this report helped, but the memories are still locked away for now. I went into this experience full of hubris, and got slapped because I couldn't let go.
23:30:00 I've noticed that I've gone through my day with a remarkable feeling of ease and calm. No frenetic self-referential mental chatter, no undue apprehension. Is this life after ego death?
“No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride...and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well...maybe chalk it up to forced consciousness expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten.” -Hunter S. Thompson