Hi all,
Last night I decided to take 18mg hbr. This was my second time, having had 9 months between my last trip. My last trip was 15mg, and I was taught a valuable lesson in set - hence the long break I needed for my mental health.
Due to the heavy body load I experienced last time, I decided to eat very little for the day. I am 5’10” and roughly 160ish pounds.
9:30AM: 1 donut and large coffee consumed. 3:15PM: Consumed 18mg capsule. 4:00PM: Starting to feel small body load and minor (pleasant) change of headspace. I feel like I’m walking on pillows almost. Very manageable come up so far. 4:30PM: Visuals are starting to appear. I had some slight nausea, but I chalked it up to being hungry. The effects are starting to kick in. 4:45PM: I order a sandwich because I start to get hangry and I don’t want it to affect my trip. 5:30PM: I eat my sandwich with no issues. No more of the come up effects on my stomach. My headspace is awesome. Visuals are full on - breathing, color changing, kaleidoscope effects (depending on the surface I was looking at). 6:00PM: I felt that I was peaking. I roll and smoke an entire joint in my garage. Visuals go from bright colors and fun to dark black, orange, and red and my headspace instantly changes. I don’t know why o felt overwhelmed, I had no reason to, but I just did. I go back upstairs to try and put something on to calm myself. 6:30PM: I try watching planet earth, but the scenes where predators kill prey made me uncomfortable (in the moment, I’ve seen combat in real life so it was just the trip). I switch to Big Mouth Season 3, but the monsters don’t make me any more comfortable - despite the usual humor I enjoy from it. I change it to the office for more comic relief since they are all human - I still feel overwhelmed. 7:10(ish)PM: I’m still peaking and feeling uncomfortable. I’m laying on my couch forcing episodes of the office knowing I’ll start coming down soon. I can’t explain what was happening. Mentally I was still there telling myself it would be ok, but my head felt heavy. 7:30PM: I get a violent sense of impending doom. I could not shake this feeling and I tried to talk myself out of it. The visuals are still intense, with gray and pink lines outlining characters of the office and the entire TV looks almost hazy? Foggy? Almost like TV static that you can see through? 7:35PM: I can’t shake the overwhelming and impending doom I’m feeling. Mentally i know I’m ok still, but I take 0.5 Xanax to kill my headspace. 8:00PM: Visuals were still there but my headspace was completely there. The anxiety is gone, and my headspace is normal: 8:30PM: Have been coming down. 9:30PM: Baselined. 10:30PM: I smoke a blunt with no issues and go to bed.
The entire trip was fine until I smoked a joint. I was extremely positive and it felt so much better than last time. I really love how weed potentiated the visuals, but not the headspace. I knew I shouldn’t go it in, but having been new to psychs in general I wanted to learn how to control the headspace and deal with the trip.
If I could do it differently I wouldn’t have taken the Xanax and tried to navigate through the difficult part of the trip. Overall wasn’t a bad trip, but I think I will do it w couple more times without weed for peace of mind and to be more comfortable. Thanks all for the solid advice and knowledge I gained while lurking!
Edit: Forgot to mention that today I had a pleasant afterglow and I even smoked and felt some very minor effects visually, but nothing crazy, not sure if it was placebo or still in my system since I didn’t eat much today and then smoked.