Three months ago, I did Ibogaine.
At the time, I was at a crossroads mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Addiction had its claws in me. Not just substances, but thought patterns, shame loops, and self-sabotage cycles that felt inescapable.
Ibogaine didn't magically "fix" everything, but it changed everything.
Here's what's different today:
Physically
- I've been off opiates since the flood. No cravings. Zero withdrawals. I tapered down properly before my flood, and Ibogaine absolutely cleared the acute and post-acute symptoms.
- My sleep was rocky at first but stabilized around week 5. Dreams are vivid -- sometimes deeply emotional.
- Energy and focus are coming back online. Some days feel foggy, but I'm more functional than I've been in years.
Mentally
- The obsessive thoughts, compulsions, and dread I used to carry? Muted. Not gone -- but not in control anymore.
- I feel more aware of my patterns. Iboga showed me where they came from. Integration work has helped me not fall back into them.
- I've started meditating. Never thought I'd say that and mean it.
Emotionally & Spiritually
- Iboga cracked me open. Showed me pain I buried and avoided.
- I've cried more in these three months than I did in the past ten years. But I'm feeling it instead of running. That's new.
- I've reconnected with family. I'm learning to forgive myself.
What's helped most post-flood:
- Integration calls / therapy
- Journaling (even when I didn't want to)
- Long walks, time in nature
- Staying off social media when I'm spiraling
- Having at least one person I can talk to without shame
Would I recommend Ibogaine? Not lightly. It's not a shortcut. It's a portal. It will show you truth, but you still have to do the work when you come back. If you're ready to face yourself, it can be life-changing. It was for me.
If you're considering it or preparing for it, I'm happy to answer questions.
This medicine changed my life. But I'm still learning how to live it. I'll post again at the 6 month mark.