DOSE:
530 mg
oral
DXM
(liquid)
BODY WEIGHT:
150 lb
I sat at home, kind of annoyed that my friend with drug connections was not going to deliver the acid I had asked him for. He hated me 'using' him for drugs, and I guess I don't blame him. At that moment, though, I was just annoyed and disappointed. I wanted some kind of trip and had no way to get it. I remember on the net seeing something about dramamine and diphenhydramine being able to give some pretty intense trips. I opened up the dramamine FAQ and after reading it, promptly decided I wasn't gonna get anywhere near the stuff. Somewhere however it mentioned DXM. I proceeded to the DXM FAQ and was enthralled.
I decided to try a second plateau trip first, so the next day I went to the store and purchased a four ounce bottle of Robitussin (making sure DXM was the only active ingredient). I had an interesting time and the next night decided to increase my dose and perhaps make it to the third plateau. For this I purchased two four ounce bottles. I drank all of the first one. It tasted noticeably worse than the night before. I then drank half the second one and poured the rest out. (I had to pour out the rest because when on drugs I have no self-control, having once gone through twelve hits of MDMA in a twelve hour period.)
At first I was disappointed, it seemed to be taking longer to take effect this time. At T+2:00 I was barely feeling anything. I was getting 'eye-rolls' very reminiscent of MDMA, but very little else. I conversed with my friends on ICQ for a while, and was able to keep up with the conversations without any problem. Somewhere around T+2:30, I started to feel something like nausea. I say 'something like' nausea because though it felt a lot like normal nausea, I didn't think I was in any danger of actually puking.
Halfway through typing a message to a friend, I suddenly felt as though I were being tossed back and forth thirty degrees from vertical on each side, violently. I closed my eyes and I could feel my hands holding on to my computer desk, but I still felt like I was being tossed back and forth. The combined sensations gave me the queer feeling that my brain was being tossed back and forth in my skull. I'm sure some people would have found this, accompanied with the nausea, to be extremely unpleasant. All I could think was, 'Now we're going to have some fun!'
The tossing passed in a moment or two, but the nausea increased significantly. I started to wrap up the conversations I had going on. My judgment must have been skewed because I asked my friend if he had done ketamine (and indeed he had) and I told him I was on DXM and mentioned they might have similar effects.
I disconnected from my ISP and thought about what I should do next. I think it was about T+3:00 at this point, but I'm not really sure. I had intended to keep notes about the experience, trying to write something every half hour if possible, but after T+2:30 I either forgot or decided it wasn't worth the effort. I dimmed the lights. The trance I had playing was getting to be a little overwhelming, and I didn't feel like I was up to picking something else out, so I just shut off the music and lay down on my bed.
Unfortunately, my memory gets fuzzy here (I had taken some DMAE ahead of time, in the hope that it might help me remember more, but it didn't seem to help much.) . I remember regretting taking the DXM a little, but I wasn't ever scared. At some point, complete dissociation set in, and this is where my memory picks up again. My eyes were closed, I think. I was seeing waving geometric patterns ( very reminiscent of random dot stereograms of sine waves except with simple patterns instead of random dots) and I felt like I was flying. This went on for some time.
After a while, I must have forgotten I was human. That is the only way I can describe what happened next. I began to wonder what I was. Not who, but what. I struggled with this thought for a while, still flying about in space with wavy geometric patterns in the background. After much struggle, my mind managed to unearth 'what' I was: I remembered my name. I repeated it over and over several times, trying to figure out what it meant to be a ''. I opened my eyes and saw my room about me. The first odd thing that struck me was the bed.
'What is this for?' I asked. The word 'sleep' appeared to me. I remembered what sleep was. I didn't believe it, simply could not believe it. It seemed so illogical that for half of my existence I would lie on a bed and wait for unconsciousness to come. Next, more images came to me about what my human life was about: images of getting up out of bed, images of getting in my car, images of being at work. I couldn't make sense of the whole 3d space thing, so the fact that I had to drive to work every day struck me as absurd.
But then the strangest, most wondrous fact occurred to me. I realized that there was a time that I couldn't really remember very well, and this time was known as school (specifically elementary school). Scrolling words drove out my visions of waving patterns: 1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade, child. I wondered briefly if I was a child now. My next source of puzzlement was what I had done before I was a child. Again text scrolled: 1900's, 1800's, 1700's, 1600's, 1500's, Rome, Socrates, Aristotle. The idea of there being a time that I didn't exist struck me as an obvious logical impossibility. Then I imagined places where I was not, but I couldn't mentally differentiate between times I had not existed and places I was not at. Images of maps of Europe and colonial America puzzled me for several minutes.
I could write about how I further struggled with the concepts of humanity and mortality, but I've already written quite a bit. What was it that eventually convinced me I was one of those funny looking human being things whose images populated my memory banks? Thirst. What was it that eventually convinced me I was one of those funny looking human being things whose images populated my memory banks? Thirst.