Candyflipped last fall for the first time and felt like sharing my experience now for some reason, so here it is!
Dosage and timing:
~100μg LSD
~100mg MDMA 3 hours and 45 minutes after LSD
Fall was easing its way into winter and the house, for the meantime, was as barren as the tree branches. I don't have the chance to be alone like this often so I knew a certain opportunity was poking its head around the corner. I decided to leap for it and spent most of my morning readying my playlist and doing some last minute research into the experience of Candyflipping. I ended up settling on fairly low dosages, knowing well the value of being cautious after a few too many reckless voyages.
I dropped the acid at about two in the afternoon and drifted off to some Van Morrison (highly suggest checking out Astral Weeks on your next trip, it's absolutely incredible). Now, this dosage was fairly low by my standards so I found myself a little anxious to get to the good part. I had to just keep reminding myself to enjoy the trip the best I could because it'd be a shame to waste the first half of the experience just because I was excited. There's no fun in just watching the clock. Luckily I was able to tame my sense of expectation and soak into the music. Tear stained nostalgia tempered by a promise of brighter days. Images of sun-filled fields and misty rivers filled my head and made my heart ache with a warm and loving sense of longing. It was a beautiful emotional space to explore even though it was such a small dose of acid.
After a few runs through the album, the time approached to drop the MDMA. I grabbed my parachute, which I had set up prior to dropping acid, and bombed it at about T+3:45. What followed was a horrendous discomfort in my stomach which led to anxiety over whether or not this was going to work out. I felt over alert and couldn't settle in anywhere. I thought that maybe the MDMA had already taken effect and that maybe candyflipping just wasn't that spectacular. Luckily, at about T+4:30 I had a little tug on my shoulder reminding me that things were going to be okay. Just a little hint that I was alright. That was just enough for me to settle down, and drift off into the music again.
What happened next, I don't think I will ever be able to describe in enough detail to express the overwhelming grandeur of the experience. I remember seeing a bright white light fill my field of vision. Glowing trails of color and warmth radiated from its center and filled me with a sense of wholeness and love. I was exactly where I needed to be and, looking back over my life, that was always the case, no doubt in my mind. I felt forgiven for everything I had ever done and ready to forgive everything that had ever been done to me. It was so obvious, the overwhelming beauty of existence, that I didn't need to hold onto anything anymore. Everything that I was was cleansed away in a cathartic flood and I felt truly at peace with everything. I thought about my friends and family and how grateful I was to have all of them and about how powerful the influence of their love had been in my life. I wept like a baby, just complete hysterics, rolling around in my bed like a loon.
After a little bit of that, I decided to get up because I just needed to tell someone about this. So I ran to the computer, opened up TeamSpeak and explained the experience to my friends, told them how much I love them, and then we played games until midnight or so. At the tail end of the experience, I snorted some ketamine, fell down that weird ass rabbit hole for about 2 hours and then took some melatonin and amazingly drifted off to sleep no problem. Woke up feeling super refreshed and in love with everything.
Even with such small dosages, this was the most powerful drug experience I had ever had. I've had my doubts about life in the past, but that night I worked it out with all of them. I'm happy I'm alive to share this space with you guys.
Anyway, peace out boy-o's