DOSE:
150 mg
oral
MDMA
(capsule)
BODY WEIGHT:
65 kg
My first MDMA experience was by far the best drug experience in my life. It worked in a very therapeutic way combined with unconditional love towards everything, including myself. Most of this report aims to be objective and fails to encapsulate the whole feeling of the experience properly. The timeline section is where you will find the most �human� and �holistic� re-telling of the experience.
Biometrics
Sex: Male
Age: 19
Weight: 65 kg
History
Previously tried drugs: Caffeine, Alcohol, Nicotine, Cannabis
Experience with drugs prior to this experience: A little
Prior experience with this drug: None
Dosage
Drug: MDMA (Crystals)
Dose: 150 mg
Ingestion form: Oral
Source: Street dealer
Tested with: Marquis and Mandelin reagents, and fentanyl strip
Physical
Prior sleep schedule (~1 week prior)
Average bedtime: Unknown
Sleep consistency: Poor
Sleep time the night before ingestion: Unknown
Sleep quality the night before ingestion: Unknown
Prior food habits (~2-3 days prior)
Food consumption consistency: Unknown
Food quality and variety: Unknown
Time since last meal before ingestion: Unknown
Prior living conditions (~2-5 days prior)
Physical activity: Unknown
Mentally straining activity: Unknown
Known or potential mental or physical illnesses
No physical illnesses.
ADHD and a brief history of mild depression
Suicide, depression and ADHD history present in family up to 3 generations
Setting
Place familiarity: Medium
Tidiness: Good
People present (including self): 2
Changing settings during experience: None
Description
This experience was done together with one of my closest friends in the living room of his flat. The living room was tiny (probably around 8 square meters) and underground with a small window at the top of one wall. There was a sofa, a cheap TV, a small stereo sound system and a small table. We also had a single blanket and 2 sofa pillows.
Headspace
Values ~1 week prior
General stress: Medium
Self-esteem: OK
Happiness: OK
Values at time of ingestion
General stress: Low
Self-esteem: OK
Excitement: High
Happiness: Poor
Anxiety: None
Timeline
Preparation
I measured and prepared the MDMA by mixing it into a glass of water. I took 150mg and my friend took 100mg. I was slightly hesitant to take the MDMA because I was in a rather bad mood, feeling quite empty with little energy and a little sad. I was in the middle of a rocky part of a developing relationship with a girl. I had prepared for a long time though and was excited to take the MDMA, so I went for it anyway. We took it around 3PM (15:00).
T+00:00: The MDMA water had an intense taste of bitter old socks, but it was luckily diluted by the water. Still not pleasant, but I can imagine taking it �raw� would be horrendous. My friend and I looked at each other after finishing our glasses, smiled at each other and just said �So then we wait�. We put on some lo-fi music and sat quietly together at each end of the sofa. I laid with a blanket covering me.
T+00:15: I had started feeling very tired and could have fallen asleep. My friend still felt nothing.
T+00:30: Quite rapidly (over just a minute or two), I started feeling an unconditional love and happiness growing from within my chest. I felt more aware of my own body and all the emptiness from earlier had started to disappear. My heart rate had also started to elevate slightly, but more noticeably it became much harder. I could hear every heartbeat in my head and feel it in my chest. The excitement of feeling the effects woke me up, so I no longer felt tired.
T+00:40: My heart was pounding really hard now, I could feel the pulse in my whole body. My eyes vibrated intensely side-to-side if I just let them �zone out� at something (I actually retained the ability to do this with my eyes several years after the experience). My pupils were apparently super dilated. I was still not feeling the full effects of the euphoria, and I felt very present and �sober�, albeit filled with "happy energy". I noticed that this situation could have been stressful if I had anxiety or were afraid of the drug. I trusted the drug however, and embraced the sensation of my hard pulse and intense eye vibration with excitement and happiness. I felt like a young kid waiting to open up presents from under the christmas tree; I was so ready for this. My friend was still feeling nothing. I felt like a young kid waiting to open up presents from under the christmas tree; I was so ready for this. My friend was still feeling nothing.