DOSE: T+ 0:00 37 mg insufflated Methoxetamine (powder / crystals) T+ 0:00 33 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals) T+ 0:54 40 mg insufflated Methoxetamine (powder / crystals) T+ 3:56 92 mg insufflated Methoxetamine (powder / crystals) T+ 4:31 39 mg insufflated S-Ketamine (powder / crystals) T+ 4:54 111 mg insufflated S-Ketamine (powder / crystals) T+ 0:00 repeated oral Alcohol - Hard (liquid) T+ 0:00 repeated oral Pharms - Clonazepam (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT:
192 lb
Background Information:
My intention going into the experience that is detailed below was to have a strong dissociative experience. Slightly over two weeks ago I had a very unique experience using similar substances (all the same as the ones used in this experience except substituting mephedrone in the place of the MDMA and the particular benzodiazepines used at the end of the evening). I was hoping to replicate, and explore further, my ability to keep a mental state as close to sober as possible while at the same time being deep in a dissociative state. I understand this sounds extremely contradictory.
My past few experiences with dissociatives (namely methoxetamine, esketamine, methoxphenidine, and 3-MeO-PCP) have all possessed a new, surprising, and very intriguing characteristic. In these recent ventures, both pre and post �hole�, I have felt far less confused, dizzy, and intoxicated in my mental capacities. This has allowed a unique introspection and general use of my mind, while still under the influence of the substances and in nearly full visual effect intensities.
I thought at first, that this could have been due to the introduction of mephedrone to some of the dissociative experiences, an atypical addition for me. After several experiments designed to test this hypothesis, I�m not able to completely confirm nor deny that adding low dosages of stimulants is causally related to the newfound effects.
The experience below details the most extreme version (to date) of this ability to think clearly, while swimming through the depths of the dissociative ocean.
I take 5000 IU of vitamin D3 daily along with 2400 milligrams of mesalamine for a lifelong stomach condition. I do not consider either of these to be a contributor factor in this experience.
My company for the experience is my partner Kai and trusty dog Gee. We will be spending the day in our house up in the mountains, surrounded by snow-filled meadows, large evergreen trees, and no other people.
A combination of written notes, audio recordings, and commentary from Kai were used in the creation of this report. I am confident that the timestamps are accurate.
The material ingested in the experience described below was sourced from vetted individuals. All dosages were prepared on a freshly calibrated .000 gram scale.
The methoxetamine is a pure white powder that is made up of very fine granules. It smells like an indoor pool, not of chlorine exactly, but a similar stale and sterilized chemical odor. The esketamine is also an untainted white color. The crystals seems to be slightly more cohesive than the methoxetamine which has visibly individual sharp pieces. The baggie containing the powder smells sweeter than the methoxetamine. It is not as sharp or pungent.
The MDMA is a hazelnut color in the center of the large �rocks�, which are highlighted by an off-white powder where the crystals have been rubbed or roughed up. When crushed up, the powder was the lighter tan color and the texture was fine but still angular and pointy. The clonazepam was from a legitimate pharmacy. Yellow pills with �TEVA� imprinted on one side and �832� on the other side with a line break beneath the number.
Tolerance was a complete non factor on the day of the experience with the exception of alcohol. At the time of the experience I was consuming 2-5 drinks per day.
I began the experience in a cheerful state of mind, excited at the prospect of having another positive and strong experience. I have dressed in comfortable clothes and tidied up the house to make the setting as calming as possible. Clutter and general disorganization stress me out. I neatly arrange a few things I might desire during the experience; pens, a few art supplies, notebooks, music devices, and blankets.
My last meal of the day was a hearty meatball sub that I ate at T � 05:04 in relation to the initial ingestion of any substances. I know I have the next two days off work and no major obligations during these days off. I�m clear for takeoff!
T + 00:00 [5:39 PM]
I prepare dosages for both Kai and me. Thirty three milligrams of MDMA and thirty seven milligrams of methoxetamine are my selections. Kai elects to skip the stimulant but increase her methoxetamine amount to just over fifty milligrams. The MDMA stings more than the methoxetamine, even after both are crushed up as finely as possible. Nasal discomfort passes in under five minutes.
T + 00:13 [5:52 PM]
There are no obvious effects manifesting yet. I light a fire in the fireplace, knowing the warmth and ambient sound of crackling and popping wood will be desired later on.
T + 00:17 [5:56 PM]
A silky haze of intoxication settles as a weight upon my mind. This headspace shift is the first sign that I've reached a � on the Shulgin Rating Scale. My reality is being tickled just slightly, shivering in reaction ever so slightly. I retrieve a glass of water from the kitchen and find that the exposed skin on my arms and legs is cooler than normal. A mysterious breeze dances across these sections of my body.
T + 00:37 [6:16 PM]
The MDMA is faster to the stage than the methoxetamine. I cannot tell yet if this is a dosage ratio issue or if the onset is staggered between the two compounds. I allow the materials to manifest on their own. There is no need to start speculating and tinkering with dosages this early in the evening.
T + 00:54 [6:33 PM]
Forty milligrams of methoxetamine is tipped off my scales tray to the flat black stone on which I use a library card and lighter to crush the powder as fine as possible. There is almost no pain or discomfort as I sniff the powder up my right nostril.
T + 01:10 [6:49 PM]
I send a few messages via my mobile device about potential plans for tomorrow. The physical action of using my phone is not difficult but the concept of each conversation is becoming increasingly difficult to grasp. As topics branch out from my initial comments this is more evident. A chat about backcountry skiing takes an unexpected turn to discussing a close friend who found out today that his dog has a crippling spinal injury and needs to be put down. I am able to navigate the conversation but my brain is finding it difficult to decide what words are appropriate. I am thinking in multiple dimensions and the binary style of text messaging does not compute easily. This is a clear sign that I am now approaching a + level.
My body is beginning to feel foreign to me. I give each of my limbs a shake to find that they feel as though they should be hanging from the ceiling in a butcher shop. Normally I embrace the array of possible physical effects dissociatives can offer. In this instance however, I sense that the MDMA and the methoxetamine are at odds with one another. I sense that the MDMA and the methoxetamine are at odds with one another.