Clarity of Silence

DOSE: T+ 0:00 29 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals) T+ 0:18 21 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals) T+ 0:49 20 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals) T+ 1:04 25 mg insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals) T+ 1:43 50 ml oral Alcohol - Hard
T+ 3:39 12 oz oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 3:48 12 oz oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 4:58 12 oz oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 4:58 0.5 mg oral Pharms - Clonazepam
T+ 5:34 12 oz oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 6:40 10 mg oral Pharms - Zolpidem

       BODY WEIGHT:
   186 lb
     

This report is part of a collection of seven reports. The collection consists of a summary report that is retrospective and generalized in nature as well as six more detailed chronicles of my experience with sensory deprivation, or floatation tanks. If desired, please see the summary report, where one can find links to each of the other experience reports.

A little background: I consider myself to be well versed in the realm of substance use. Previous experiences include opiates, stimulants and psychedelics. A fair amount of my substance usage history includes novel research chemicals often in less than common combinations.

With the exception of the time spent in the isolation tank, I kept detailed written notes in combination with an audio recording device in order to write this report as accurately as possible. I am confident that all timestamps are correct to within a + / - 60 seconds.

I am not feeling the best today. My lifelong stomach condition has begun to flare up resulting in internal stomach pain and a few extra trips to the bathroom throughout the morning. I have been working at home all day and my to-do list was relatively small so my mental stress levels are minimal. It has been quite some time since I have taken MDMA specifically (about two years), but I have experimented with an array of other stimulants in that period of time, of both the euphoric and non euphoric varieties. I�m a little anxious about taking MDMA but nerves are normal for me before any substance ingestion, particularly if it is something I have not taken in some time.

My tolerances to the other substances taken in this report are non-existent. It has been over six months since I last ingested clonazepam and over a week since I have taken any other benzodiazepines. I have not had any alcoholic drinks for the three days leading into this experience and cannabis has only been smoked a handful of times in the weeks prior to the day described below.

My intention for this float is to achieve a solid roll, in what I would deem a low to medium intensity. I am not trying to be absolutely faced in the tank, but want to make sure I do not under-do it. I do not have many expectations for how the sensory deprivation and stimulant will feel as a combination. Upon initial review, I thought these two might no mesh particularly well. After more thinking on the matter, I decided there might be some intriguing inner dialogue and emotional discussion and internal review that would be easy to focus on given the lack of music, movement, and interaction with others that I generally associate as pillars of my MDMA experiences. Also, other substances, such as ketamine, have felt markedly different in a float tank than they do in a more standard environment. I went into this experience with a very open mind and few expectations.

The substances used in this report were reliably sourced. The MDMA came from a vetted chemist and I performed several reagent tests to confirm with relative certainly (less precise than an NMR or Mass spectrometry analysis � but sufficient to make me comfortable ingesting the substance). I did take a small sublingual allergy test of 3 mg the day prior, which turned out no negative reactions. The clonazepam was sourced from a pharmacy, was circular and yellow with one side imprinted �TEVA� and the other side with �832� and a break mark on dissecting the pill in half. The zolpidem was also sourced directly from a pharmacy and was a white oval imprinted on one side with �79� and the other side an �E�.

Floatation Tank: Clarity of Silence

T + 00:00 [3:00 PM]

I weigh out 29 mg of MDMA and crush the small crystals as finely as I can. The crystals were mostly 2-4 mm in size and an opaque white / light tan color with a slightly sweet chemically odor that is relatively noticeable when wafting the bag. The crystals crush up fairly easily after a minute of work, using a library card and a lighter. The resulting powder is whiter than the crystals. I insufflate the small line and sit back on the couch to finish up a few work items.

A slight sting develops about 30 seconds after the insufflation but it is not a deep burning sensation like some more caustics substances such as some of the fluorinated amphetamines, 2C-X family, and X-APB substances. The discomfort is noticeable but not particularly annoying.

T + 00:01 [3:01 PM]

The first bite of the back drip is present. The taste is chemically but with that twinge of poorly created fake vanilla flavoring. The nasal pain has all but dissipated already.

T + 00:07 [3:07 PM]

I am perhaps just now detecting some effects that I would qualify at the � level on the Shulgin Rating Scale. There is a very soft tingling dancing around my exposed skin and my air hair in particular seems to be hyper sensitive. This is a gentle breeze of sensations; much less obvious than the powerful rush that some other stimulants provide me. This is delicate, soft, and gentle. I write down a note commenting that my current condition is the perfect definition of a �. If this passed and nothing further developed, I could nearly dismiss is as placebo or a false positive detection of effects.

T + 00:18 [3:18 PM]

The sensations I have been feeling have not disappeared. I weigh out and grind up 21 mg and promptly insufflate it. I notice the powder is a bit clumpy and decide to insufflate a small amount of water to assist in the absorption. Just as before, a sting develops after about five seconds post insufflation. This rapidly dies off and my nasal passages are pain free within a minute.

T + 00:25 [3:25 PM]

I�m feeling cold physically and make my way from the living room to my closet in order to retrieve a flannel shirt and wool socks to boost my comfort. On the way back I feel some minor tremors in the lower jaw. No major euphoria was shown up yet but I do feel more alert and awake. My stomach discomfort has also started to melt away.

T + 00:32 [3:32 PM]

A pleasant mood is developing inside me. A sense of well-being and happiness have formed without external causes beyond the MDMA ingestion. As is typical for me, the first physical sensations manifest in my biceps and forearms. A warm slow pulsation of pleasure washes up and down my arms. A similar softness is felt inside my head, as if I am feeling the opposite of a headache; relaxing warmth can be felt seemingly in my brain itself.

The warmer clothes are making me feel much more comfortable which in turn seems to release some more prominent effects. My fingertips are vibrating with energy and feel like they are physically shaking. Upon inspection I find that the vibration is internal, my fingers are visibly still and steady.

T + 00:49 [3:49 PM]

Knowing that I have less than an hour left of dosing time, I decide to start moving this along faster in order to ensure I reach the intensity level I am aiming for. At this point I am surprised at the lack of effects. I weigh, crush, and insufflate 20 mg. This time there is barely any pain from the insufflation.

T + 00:53 [3:53 PM]

My mind is drifting towards a simplified and emotional space. Analytical functionality is possible, but unattractive to me at this point. I attempted to edit some writing but I am having trouble concentrating and making decisions. I quit the editing and put on some music and cuddle with my dog Gee on the couch. Her fur is soft, but not significantly softer than when I am sober.

T + 01:04 [4:04 PM]

Making my way to the scale I have set up on the kitchen counter, I go through the preparation process and insufflate another 25 mg of the MDMA.

I am still feeling very articulate and don�t think I have reached a + yet. I know my decision of small staggered dosages will likely begin ramp up effects soon. Unfortunately, I am pretty bummed out and underwhelmed with the current status of my intoxication.

T + 01:16 [4:16 PM]

I should be leaving the house now in order to be on time to my float appointment. I make an in the moment decision to load up one more dosage before heading out. An additional 41 mg is prepared and snorted. This is followed up with a cleansing insufflation of water. I clean up my dosage station, with a few paranoid thoughts running through my mind about leaving anything in plain site. I hate running late and given the traffic at this time of day, I am sure I will arrive at least a few minutes after the set appointment time.

My partner Kai is hurrying me along to get down to the car. As a last minute addition I grab a small bottle containing 50 ml of vodka [40% ABV]. My intention is to drink this right before I enter the tank to act as a catalyst for the MDMA. As I exit and lock the door I am a little disoriented, checking my pockets multiple times for my essential items: keys, phone, wallet, and notebook. We finally make it out the car and take off towards the float shop.

The drive feels fun, like I am a child riding in a sports car for the first time. Acceleration makes me giddy and the sunshine and wind hitting me from the open window brings back simple and happy memories from days past. I am now at a solid + and am starting to feel relieved that the substance is finally kicking into gear.

T + 01:40 [4:40 PM]

Traffic was abnormally busy so Kai drops me off at the front door of the float shop and I give her a quick kiss before jumping out and walking inside. I don�t feel particularly social with the employee as I check in but this could have been because I know I need to get into my float in order to not cause a delay in their scheduling.

I get into my float room and immediately disrobe. I�m stimulated: removing all my clothes in just a few seconds and throwing them in a haphazard pile on the floor. The wax earplugs are rolled and inserted quickly as I take a sip of water. I check the clock and it has only been three minutes since I got out of the car. I am performing actions quickly and with great excitement.

T + 01:43 [4:43 PM]

I open the bottle of vodka and take a small taste test sip. I nearly gag at the taste. My stomach is churning with mild nausea due from the MDMA and the slight anxiety I have from showing up late the to float. I am still not above a + and decide to force down the rest of the vodka. Thankfully the larger gulp produces less of a reaction from my gag reflex and I put the bottle away.

T + 01:44 [4:44 PM]

I take a deep breath to try and slow down the pace of my thoughts and ground myself. I open the tank lid, indulge in one final sip of water, and then climb in.

I shut the tank lid behind me; I am now in complete darkness. I lie down in my favorite float position with my arms bent but extended above my head to take in the initial sensations of the MDMA in this unusual environment.

As �entrance� music today, I have selected a simple track that is five minutes of soft ocean waves crashing on the shore. I generally mix up the music selection between classical piano, ocean waves sounds, and a Tibetan bowl ringing. I was hoping the waves might be the most calming and could set the float off in a nice direction. In reality the sound is a little cheesy. It seems forced and almost as if the speaker, which resides underwater, is a little crackly or blown out (it was not actually). I find myself listening to the ocean sounds waiting for them to be over so I can begin my experience. The five minutes seems to drag on forever but finally the last of the sounds are heard and I am left in a stunning silence.

A few differences jump out at me immediately between what I feel right now and what I have felt in previous sensory deprivation sessions either sober or on numerous other substances. I am struck by the absoluteness and clarity of the silence. There is absoluteness to the quiet. Even the earplugs that sometimes produce a rustling noise, similar to what one hears when pressing on the tragus of one�s ear, are inaudible. Visually and emotionally, the tank seems less welcoming than I normally find it. Visually and emotionally, the tank seems less welcoming than I normally find it.