I've been stuck in a rut for a while and really depressed and numb with nothing feeling colorful or exciting. I take depakote for bipolar II. Tonight I took some molly and I can only describe it as waking me up.
I actually cared about other people, about myself. It made me realize I can be a happy person who feels joy, like not everyone is out for themselves. Everyone was so nice, and a few girls told me I was cute which was so nice of them. It felt good to be me and not some manic projection.
I didn't feel manic or hyper or out of control. It was just warm and gentle, leaving me not scared of other people or my own feelings.
It's going away now. I'm starting to feel some shame and guilt again, and the old me is starting to reappear. But tonight was a window into a world I hadn't seen for a while, and it really has given me hope of living a more colorful life.
Note: I do not recommend combining MDMA with mood stabilizers or psychiatric medications without consulting a doctor. This is a personal account, not medical advice.