First time experience

Hey guys I tried mdma for the first time and I remember the blissful experience but I came home and I literally just jerked off and watched porn for the entire time. I hate myself for it and I wish I could've had a better experience. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar or if I'm the only one. I feel like shit that I wasted my trip on fucking porn. And in addition I couldn't get my junk up so it was such a bad experience. In retrospect the blissful feeling was completely wasted and I fucking hate myself