DOSE:
1 hit
LSD
(gel tab)
BODY WEIGHT:
265 lb
First Time LSD Use at Age 46
An interest in LSD.
I first developed an interest in trying LSD, I think, when reading the James Gleick biography of physicist Richard Feynman. While Feynman�s biography mentioned that everyone around him was trying LSD (when it was legal), Feynman mentioned that he would never try it, because the risk to his brain, which was what his entire career had been based upon, was too great. However, Gleick mentioned that Feynman had actually tried it, but kept it secret once LSD was banned, thinking that his employer, CalTech, might frown upon it. Then, I read the Steve Jobs biography, where it was mentioned. An article on Carey Grant trying it made its way onto my reading list. Tim Ferriss, and Sam Harris, mentioned in separate blog posts trying it for brain power, and spiritual experimentation, respectively, and, when I saw that the writer of the book that became the film �Limitless�, with Bradley Cooper, had based his book, and his fictional pill, NZT, on the book �Storming Heaven: LSD and the American Dream�, by Jay Stevens, I made the decision to try it if possible.
I turned 46 late last year, and I had never ever tried drugs. I hadn�t even tried alcohol until my 21st birthday, but always had a fear of any drugs. When I started dating a 31-year-old, Fleur, who was a three-times-a-day pot smoker, I tried marijuana for the first time (smoking and edibles). Fleur mentioned that she could get me anything that I wanted to try. So I told her I�d love to try LSD.
Then we broke up. Or she broke up with me, because of our fights about money. And she went back to the rich older generous boyfriend (who is married). So it was strange when she contacted me again to let me know that she had what I had expressed an interest in, that she had four paper tabs, and wanted to know when I had 8-12 hours to book a trip.
Unfortunately, as a single dad, I had my kid that weekend, so we scheduled the next weekend, with a trip sitter that she knew for safety sake. She also told me that a guy she knew, and had hooked up with, was very jealous that she and I were going to experiment with LSD, so this would be special.
Unfortunately, during my kid weekend, she had an �oops�, when the guy she used to hook up with came over with the movie �Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas�, and they did the drug and did the deed. I decided to search the darknet markets for what I could as far as an alternate source. Unfortunately, that is right when the Evolution/Bitcoin debacle happened, which scared me.
So I went back to Fleur. She found out that her supplier ran out, so she found another one. While on her way to pick up the LSD, he was raided and arrested by the police, and she freaked out and went home. She spoke to a person who spoke to a person who was very knowledgeable about experimentation with LSD, who got her a source.
I mentioned that I had to be at CalTech on business at 2pm, so she said we would start early. (Early to me meaning maybe 6am). She was running late by 10am, and finally arrived around 1040am. She told me the story about her trip, which I think we finally dosed at 11am. She pulled open a baggie, which had a strip of a pre-marked and measured gel or gummy substance.
�Are you sure this is LSD?� I had never heard of dosage this way, only via liquid, paper tabs, sugar cubes, or via dropper onto gummy bears, etc. She said yes, that her experimenting source said it was good. I have no idea the dosage, honestly. But we each had one measure of the gel, which dissolved quickly under the tongue, and had no bad taste.
The Comeup.
I put on some music while we waited for the drug to take effect. She mentioned that the last time she tried it, with the paper tabs, that she walked during the come up. But she said �I�m not sure that was even LSD - that might have had cocaine in it.�
�I need to smoke a bowl�, Fleur said, and she smoked some pot.
At some point, leaning against my sink, I noticed that my sink looked FILTHY. And I thought I had recently cleaned it. It was as though I was seeing 20 extra shades of grey in the stainless steel that I had never noticed before. Wow.
�Let�s get out of here�, I said, and we went for a walk. I saw the yellow and blue shading in the leaves of the trees while we were walking, as never before. As mentioned, I�m 46, and I have gained weight, am out of shape, and walking, it felt like my heart rate was going through the roof, I was heating up, and I had a slight trouble breathing. I mentioned that to Fleur.
Fleur said, �I don�t want to have to call the ambulance on you. I�ve done that for three friends already.�
Taking a spill.
Suddenly, playing a joke on her sounded like a good idea. So I went face down on the grass, and didn�t move. And predictably, she freaked out. Laughing, I got up.
�Your face is bleeding�, Fleur said. I reached up and felt a point where I had hit a root and had a blood spot on the middle of my forehead. �Let�s keep walking, so that no one stops and asks if you are okay�.
On we went, to a sculpture garden, with a pyramid, rocks, flowing water, and lots of trees. There were patches of long flowing grass, and they seemed to be moving, and bulging, and I was not sure if it was the wind or the effects of the LSD. �Let�s sit under the trees, and watch the sparkling dew on the grass�. Unfortunately, an old man with a fanny pack heard me say that and took the only bench in front of the grass. So we went and sat elsewhere.
Fleur was suspicious. �I wonder if that old man suspects something�. �No�, I said, �we are just like two art students, admiring the sculpture garden�. I sat on the bench next to her. We ended up lying on a stone bench head to head, with our legs in opposite directions.
�Look at the wispy clouds � they look 3D!�, Fleur said. I couldn�t see that. I expected the sky to look like colors, or to see trails when I moved my hand, but I didn�t.
But I really wanted to walk barefoot in the grass between a large group of trees that I saw. The amazing different shades of green that I saw really fascinated me. So I entered a group of about 8 trees.
I speak with the trees.
Walking barefoot through the grass, I felt �drawn to� one of the trees. It was a eucalyptus. Right away, I noticed that the knots in its bark made a face. �Big deal�, I told myself, you can find a face in anything. But staring at its bark, it seemed to be moving, breathing, bulging, and alive. That fascinated me. I saw one patch of the bark in my vision stay still, while the rest of the tree seemed to move. I tried to focus on the face in the trees, but that didn�t seem to do anything for me. I tried to feel the trees and the grass breathe with me, but that didn�t seem to work. So I focused on the moving bark again.
Then I heard a voice inside my mind. �Look deeper�. Then I heard a voice inside my mind. �Look deeper�.