DOSE:
T+ 0:00
oral
Ibogaine
(capsule)
T+ 0:45
oral
Ibogaine
(capsule)
BODY WEIGHT:
100 lb
I took the ibogaine a day and a half after my 25th birthday. I had been addicted to heroin since I was almost 21 years old. I had tried kicking before but not for some time and never more than for a few days. I used my last dose at 10 AM Tuesday morning and I started taking my ibogaine in capsules I had put them in at 6PM that night. Now I don't think anyone should do this at home when there are clinics but this was my last chance. I was so sick of the life that I did not care if I died so I figured 'what the hell...' I had taken it once before but in too small an amount for true addiction interruption and not only was it really intense but it happened right as the Sandy Hook shooting happened which really messed me up for a long time and scared me away from taking it again.
My fiance was there to take care of me and when I started to freak about at 45 minutes into the experience he calmed me down by telling me there was nothing to do but go through with it and only time would cure it. He had me lay down in a dark room with a candle right away. Almost 2 hours in I felt myself really going into it and hurried and took the rest of my dose. My body was burning all over and although it did not hurt it was not pleasant either. There was also the telltale metallic buzzing that seems common in reports but for me it seemed to be an intelligence of its own. Like it came with the iboga and was there to see me through. At this point I can't keep my eyes open and I go into the dream world.
I start in this dark world or realm seems to be like a hell where I am reborn from a plant. New and clean a shaman looking man comes to me and tells me 'Finally I have been waiting for you'. I think this is the iboga spirit and I go with him where he shows me over and over the words addict and addicted telling me I am not an addict unless I choose to be addicted. Over and over. This is where my experience becomes unlike everything I have read. Apparently I did vomit several times small amounts and then got out of bed and put myself in the bathroom with blankets and pillows but I have no memory of any of this.
I then go into several different realities that I live in for months and years. These realities are in the past and future and present and all over the world, one in space and one in a different world entirely. Every reality I lived in was a metaphor or sometimes more direct for the things I needed to be shown and live. Every reality I lived in was a metaphor or sometimes more direct for the things I needed to be shown and live.