Last March I bought a 10-pack of what were sold as Xanax bars -- white, rectangular, "XANAX" stamped on one side, "2" on the other. They looked exactly like the pharmaceutical ones. I had been buying the same style from the same guy for about six months and they always felt like regular alprazolam: calming, moderate duration, I could take one after work and feel normal by bedtime.
This batch was different. I took one bar at around 7pm, same as usual. By 7:30 I remember thinking it was hitting harder than normal. That is my last memory until approximately 11am the next morning -- sixteen hours later. I woke up on my couch fully dressed with the TV still on. My phone showed I had sent a dozen messages between 9pm and 2am that I have absolutely no recollection of writing. Some were to my boss. One was a long rambling text to an ex I haven't spoken to in two years. I had eaten an entire bag of frozen dumplings that I apparently cooked, based on the pan in the sink, but I have zero memory of doing so. My front door was unlocked.
I sent one of the remaining bars to a lab through DrugsData (formerly EcstasyData). The result came back three weeks later: flualprazolam, no alprazolam detected. Flualprazolam is a fluorinated analogue of alprazolam that has never been approved for medical use anywhere in the world. It is active at sub-milligram doses and its duration of action is roughly 12-16 hours, compared to alprazolam's 4-6 hours. So when I took what I thought was a normal 2mg alprazolam dose, I actually took a full pressed bar of a substance that is more potent per milligram and lasts three times as long.
The part that scares me most is what could have happened. I could have driven somewhere. I could have taken a second bar during the blackout not remembering I already took one -- that kind of compulsive redosing is well documented with long-acting benzodiazepines because you feel "not that messed up" during the blackout due to the delusion of sobriety. I live alone, so if I had fallen and hit my head or had a respiratory issue, nobody would have known for hours.
I want people to understand that the pressed pill supply is saturated with designer benzodiazepines. Flualprazolam, clonazolam, bromazolam, flubromazolam -- these are all showing up in what gets sold as Xanax bars. You cannot tell by looking at them, biting them, or tasting them. The only way to know is reagent testing or lab analysis. If you are going to use pressed pills, at minimum start with a quarter of a bar and wait two full hours before deciding whether to take more. That one habit would have saved me sixteen hours of my life that I will never get back, and could have saved something far worse.