Well... I relapsed

Fucking stupid man, I was working at a rehab. Practically running the place. I was a counselor. I had almost sixteen months sober. It all started with some pot, then alcohol, next thing you know I was doing heroin and crystal. Two weeks later I contracted C. diff and staph, I had to kick again. My family suspected something but most think it was my infection. My girlfriend knew — I feel the worst about that. She's sober too and she knew after she found the rigs and the cotton and the cooker. She helped me kick and waited until I was well again to talk about it. She's a saint. I needed to tell somebody. I'm still smoking pot. I know it's not sustainable. I feel like a failure but I stopped and I'm proud I kicked.