DOSE:
300 ug
vaporized
Nicotine
vaporized
Nicotine
(daily)
BODY WEIGHT:
145 lb
A Glowing Experience that I Cannot Describe
I was a teenage smoker. I started at 15, by accident, and quit at 23, with tremendous difficulty and apparently divine intervention. I was always so grateful to have been able to quit that it is a shock to find myself addicted and now vaping via eCigs at the rate of about $10/day I can ill afford. I had quit for almost thirty years at the time of the experience I will try to relate here.
I didn't mean to start again, but I was an altered and bad state of mind from the side effects of Abilify, and would have done anything to make it stop. (Never mind why I was taking that drug; it was a chain of events and a clueless doctor.) I'm not currently taking any psychiatric drugs and had never been prescribed any until a few months before this nicotine experience. I don't think the Abilify played into this experience because it was exactly like the experiences that got me hooked in the distance past.
Some younger friends had been over and had rolled some marijuana into an emptied-out cigarillo wrapper. They weren't interested in the tobacco, so they left it piled in an ashtray on my kitchen table when they departed. I was dealing with the intense agitation of akathisia at the time, and I espied the little pile of low-quality tobacco and wondered if it would help. I got a glass pot pipe, packed a modest bowl, lit it, and inhaled.
A few seconds, and swoooon. Pleasure. Not euphoria, not ecstasy. Beautiful, brilliant, all-encompassing and very private pleasure. Just me on a chair, and this feeling that is unlike any other I've experienced. It is impossible to describe, and I have only met one other person who attests to it. (I met him at a $300 Allen Carr seminar, which kept me away from tobacco for approximately 5 minutes after I left the classroom at the end of the day.)
I read another glowing experience, and noted the writer's mentioning that he felt like a king. I felt like some kind of celestial being. Not really a queen, but someone to whom all good things are meant to flow in abundance. It's like my brain turned to beauty and love and my whole being was imbued with infinite wonderfulness. It's like my brain turned to beauty and love and my whole being was imbued with infinite wonderfulness.